My bumper can beat up your bumper

Over the past weekend, I had the pleasure of driving halfway across the country and back. I’m sure I am responsible for some polar bears drowning or something, but I really don’t feel too bad about it.
I took the opportunity to observe the scenery both manmade and natural. One thing I noticed is that people don’t update things too much. I saw a Ron Paul for President billboard somewhere on the interstate. I don’t know when Representative Paul officially dropped out of the race, but it has to be approaching a year or so. I know billboards are expensive, and in this economy, I cannot believe anyone is still paying for the thing.
I saw several yard signs for candidates, as well as bumper stickers. Look, it has been eight months since the last election, isn’t it time to put away the stuff?
All of you who have a Gore/Lieberman sticker or yard sign can take them down. We get it, you don’t like Bush. But he’s gone now. You can start paying attention to current events.
I do not really like bumper stickers. Most of them are too small to get the point across or too long to be read at 70 miles per hour. I realize it is a freedom of speech thing, but I’d just as soon see none of them. It is like a visual pollution.
Of course, it does help us to be able to judge you and your cause by your driving ability. I swear I am never donating to certain causes, because I do not want to be associated with people who have such poor driving skills.
Some scientist could probably come up with some sort of a Laffer curve showing how the number of bumper stickers you have on your car is directly proportional to the size of jerk you are.
I do have a few bumper stickers that I find humorous. However, there are really only two I would ever use (one because it is scathing and two because it is funny to see a really old sticker on a new car):
1. “I’m so Green I’m Soylent”
2. AuH2O