Saturday, August 15, 2009

Enough Already

This is a list of the stuff that is ticking me off at the moment:

Awkward Turtle: Are kids really doing this? Man, kids are dumb. Add this, "Talk to the hand" and the L on the forehead to gestures that will be banned when the revolution comes.

Flag@whitehouse.gov: Report fishy statements about health care? No. I say we "Rickroll" them.

Astroturf: This phrase is used to refer to fake grassroots movements. Get it? Yeah. It is only mildly clever on a good day. However, when 60+ year old politicians use it, it is just pathetic.

Teachable Moment: Ok so the President took the opportunity to drink some beer with a cop and an angry professor. OK,whatever. But the president first took the opportunity to lecture America about racism and stupidity. How about a “brilliant” politician take a moment to teach himself not to speak out when he admittedly does not have the facts?

Indiana: The whole state.

Face tattoos: If you decide to get one, either you work in a tattoo parlor, or you are condemning yourself to a career of night shit work on a street repair crew.

Commercials that use songs I like: I know songwriters have a right to sell the use of their music, but to advertise bathroom related products?

Housekeeping: Seriously, how hard is it to take out the garbage? And, five days in a row?

Hotel laundry rooms: The communal nature isn’t really a problem, except that there is someone running around with a University of North Texas t-shirt and some used white socks.

Reality dating shows: If your main character comes back for a second season, they aren’t looking for the love of their life.

Video Games are not a sport and have no business on ESPN.

Remakes: I know being creative is hard, but if you are going to remake a movie, you really need to do a good job. Sometimes that old black and white movie staring people who have been dead for 30 years and cost $30K to make, is better than the movie you spent 2 years of your life on.

Celebrities: Look, if you say something stupid, more that 150 Million people are going to intentionally avoid your next movie.

Bling: This word has been overused for years. Stop using it. If you use it and are over 40, you are at risk of getting stabbed in the neck, if I hear you .

Jon and Kate and the Octo-mom: No one cared before, and now? You are the kind of people that crowds encourage to jump off high buildings.

1 comment:

  1. Hater: If you are over the age of 16 and you use the term hater, you risk getting your a$$ kicked by me!

    ReplyDelete