If you are at a theater and watching a classic movie and are the only people shouting the lines, you will be the least popular person there.
Audience partici-pation is reserved for the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Too much of a good thing
I might have been listening to a little too much Christmas music.
I called some one this morning and got a busy signal. I swear the tone beeped out in the rhythm of "Jingle Bells."
I called some one this morning and got a busy signal. I swear the tone beeped out in the rhythm of "Jingle Bells."
Thursday, December 10, 2009
The Complete Exhaustive Top 12 List of Worst Christmas Songs that I Am Familiar With, ver. 2009
I love Christmas songs. I have been listening to them all day on Pandora. I have the car radio set to the Christmas station. I have stuff on my Ipod and have been downloading new stuff. I will even get a hankering for it in June or July. In my family we don’t really decorate all the much but we collect Christmas albums.
I am very open about my Christmas music. I will listen to just about any kind: Religious to Secular, traditional, Punk, Heavy Metal, Cabbage Patch to Surf guitar, I love it all. If Shatner had a spoken word Christmas album out I’d give it a whirl.
I have a couple of new favorites: Los Straitjackets and “Must be Santa” by Bob Dylan.
I reconfirm that Karen Carpenter and Nat King Cole are some of the best singers of all time. And the Time Life Treasury of Christmas is one of the best albums.
I thought I’d gather my thoughts about Christmas music and compile the definitive list of worst Christmas Songs. I tried to limit myself to mainstream songs (if we got into novelty songs, we’d be here for weeks), and to focus on individual songs not just bad recordings (Dean Martin’s “Rudy the Red-nosed Reindeer,” or the Andrews Sisters “Jingle Bells”).
So I present for your consideration:
“The Complete Exhaustive Top 12 List of Worst Christmas Songs that I Am Familiar With, ver. 2009”
1. Happy X-mas (war is over); Stupid protest era Lennon song. This is the Yoko influence and just stinks to high heaven. I also hate “Imagine” but that is screed for a different time
2. Feliz Navidad; it only has 19 words I the whole song, it isn’t in English, it isn’t in Spanish, but it does suck.
3. The 12 Days of Christmas; this song makes no sense, is it supposed to be about Hanukkah? If so they can’t count. Is it about slavery? I mean who gives someone another person for a gift? The only redeeming part is the Five Golden Rings.
4. Baby, It’s Cold Outside; Look man, no means no.
5. Santa Baby; I realized Santa is married, but I don’t want to think of him as a sexual being, alright? And the whole sugar daddy thing is creepy.
6. Christmas Don’t Be Late (The Chipmunk Song); One might think this is a novelty song but it won three Grammy Awards, and was a number 1 single. Why? I don’t know. I hate this song so much it should be on this list twice.
7. Christmas Time is Here {from A Charlie Brown Christmas (Vocal version)}; the tune is good but the plodding dirge like vocals! Seasonal Disaffective Disorder anyone? Come to think of it, the instrumental version makes me want to stick pencils into my eardrums as well.
8. Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer; I used to like this song when I was a 12 year old smart ass.
9. Christmas All Over Again; this was written by Tom Petty and while I normally like him, this is a poor piece of work. What is Christmas really that tedious? Get into the spirit of it man.
10. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus; Apparently the Catholic Church got worked up about it when it came out. I don’t get worked up. I hit the skip button.
11. Wonderful Christmastime; I think he released this because the other fab two (Ringo gets no respect) had holiday songs out, so he kind of had to do something.
12. Peace on Earth (the version with Bing Crosby and David Bowie that is combined with Little Drummer Boy); yes I am breaking one of my rules. And since they are mine, I’ll break them all I want. This song in addition to the hey we don’t know each other lameness, has lyrics like “Every child must be made to…” What? Some sort of leftist forced education? Dude, it is the holidays give it a rest.
Honorable Mentions
13. Do they Know It’s Christmastime by Band-Aid; This is one of those mid 80’s social movement songs, and while I kind of like it, many people don’t.
14. Blue Christmas, Elvis Presley; It is such a uniqe recording that no one else should even try. So other versions are bad. But even the King's annoys people. I guess it is too stylized
15. Little Drummer Boy; Apparently this song gives people headaches.
16. Manheim Steamroller; They are fine for a while but it just becomes too much after about 3 times. They are overplayed, because people think it is a neat alternative to the more overplayed stuff. Problem is people have thought this for the last 20 years.
I am very open about my Christmas music. I will listen to just about any kind: Religious to Secular, traditional, Punk, Heavy Metal, Cabbage Patch to Surf guitar, I love it all. If Shatner had a spoken word Christmas album out I’d give it a whirl.
I have a couple of new favorites: Los Straitjackets and “Must be Santa” by Bob Dylan.
I reconfirm that Karen Carpenter and Nat King Cole are some of the best singers of all time. And the Time Life Treasury of Christmas is one of the best albums.
I thought I’d gather my thoughts about Christmas music and compile the definitive list of worst Christmas Songs. I tried to limit myself to mainstream songs (if we got into novelty songs, we’d be here for weeks), and to focus on individual songs not just bad recordings (Dean Martin’s “Rudy the Red-nosed Reindeer,” or the Andrews Sisters “Jingle Bells”).
So I present for your consideration:
“The Complete Exhaustive Top 12 List of Worst Christmas Songs that I Am Familiar With, ver. 2009”
1. Happy X-mas (war is over); Stupid protest era Lennon song. This is the Yoko influence and just stinks to high heaven. I also hate “Imagine” but that is screed for a different time
2. Feliz Navidad; it only has 19 words I the whole song, it isn’t in English, it isn’t in Spanish, but it does suck.
3. The 12 Days of Christmas; this song makes no sense, is it supposed to be about Hanukkah? If so they can’t count. Is it about slavery? I mean who gives someone another person for a gift? The only redeeming part is the Five Golden Rings.
4. Baby, It’s Cold Outside; Look man, no means no.
5. Santa Baby; I realized Santa is married, but I don’t want to think of him as a sexual being, alright? And the whole sugar daddy thing is creepy.
6. Christmas Don’t Be Late (The Chipmunk Song); One might think this is a novelty song but it won three Grammy Awards, and was a number 1 single. Why? I don’t know. I hate this song so much it should be on this list twice.
7. Christmas Time is Here {from A Charlie Brown Christmas (Vocal version)}; the tune is good but the plodding dirge like vocals! Seasonal Disaffective Disorder anyone? Come to think of it, the instrumental version makes me want to stick pencils into my eardrums as well.
8. Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer; I used to like this song when I was a 12 year old smart ass.
9. Christmas All Over Again; this was written by Tom Petty and while I normally like him, this is a poor piece of work. What is Christmas really that tedious? Get into the spirit of it man.
10. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus; Apparently the Catholic Church got worked up about it when it came out. I don’t get worked up. I hit the skip button.
11. Wonderful Christmastime; I think he released this because the other fab two (Ringo gets no respect) had holiday songs out, so he kind of had to do something.
12. Peace on Earth (the version with Bing Crosby and David Bowie that is combined with Little Drummer Boy); yes I am breaking one of my rules. And since they are mine, I’ll break them all I want. This song in addition to the hey we don’t know each other lameness, has lyrics like “Every child must be made to…” What? Some sort of leftist forced education? Dude, it is the holidays give it a rest.
Honorable Mentions
13. Do they Know It’s Christmastime by Band-Aid; This is one of those mid 80’s social movement songs, and while I kind of like it, many people don’t.
14. Blue Christmas, Elvis Presley; It is such a uniqe recording that no one else should even try. So other versions are bad. But even the King's annoys people. I guess it is too stylized
15. Little Drummer Boy; Apparently this song gives people headaches.
16. Manheim Steamroller; They are fine for a while but it just becomes too much after about 3 times. They are overplayed, because people think it is a neat alternative to the more overplayed stuff. Problem is people have thought this for the last 20 years.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
How hard can it be?
I mean I must be missing something.
My wife had to drop off some prescriptions. She went to one of the big box stores around lunch and asked if she could wait. She was told it would take a couple of hours since it was just a couple of days after thanksgiving and they were swamped with new prescriptions.
Ok I can kind of understand that, but if a customer is going to wait, wouldn’t good customer service dictate that you help them first? So, she decided to leave them and come back the next day.
Fast forward 26 hours. She goes back. And was told it would be about 15 minutes. She goes back to the counter. “Just a little while longer.” So after playing this fun little game for 2 hours she finally complains. “Well, we are busy.” “But, you said if I dropped them off yesterday, they would be ready today. That was 24 hours ago.” “We aren’t a 24 hour store.” “What does that matter. You still had like eight business hours.” “No, you dropped them off after 5pm.” “No, I dropped them of at noon.” Then the girl at the counter rolled her eyes and scoffed.
At this point, I pause to tell you how I would have handled it. I would have said “Excuse me but how hard is it to reach up on to a shelf, grab the jar of pills, count out 20 of them, pour them in to a bottle, and print the corresponding label? I want to talk to your boss. Today is what a Tuesday? That’s all it is for me, but for you this is the most important day of your year.
I would have proceeded to get another notch on my belt. I would not have left the store until she was fired. But then again I am a duck, and I try not to let things affect me.
My wife had to drop off some prescriptions. She went to one of the big box stores around lunch and asked if she could wait. She was told it would take a couple of hours since it was just a couple of days after thanksgiving and they were swamped with new prescriptions.
Ok I can kind of understand that, but if a customer is going to wait, wouldn’t good customer service dictate that you help them first? So, she decided to leave them and come back the next day.
Fast forward 26 hours. She goes back. And was told it would be about 15 minutes. She goes back to the counter. “Just a little while longer.” So after playing this fun little game for 2 hours she finally complains. “Well, we are busy.” “But, you said if I dropped them off yesterday, they would be ready today. That was 24 hours ago.” “We aren’t a 24 hour store.” “What does that matter. You still had like eight business hours.” “No, you dropped them off after 5pm.” “No, I dropped them of at noon.” Then the girl at the counter rolled her eyes and scoffed.
At this point, I pause to tell you how I would have handled it. I would have said “Excuse me but how hard is it to reach up on to a shelf, grab the jar of pills, count out 20 of them, pour them in to a bottle, and print the corresponding label? I want to talk to your boss. Today is what a Tuesday? That’s all it is for me, but for you this is the most important day of your year.
I would have proceeded to get another notch on my belt. I would not have left the store until she was fired. But then again I am a duck, and I try not to let things affect me.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
You can't bring me down
The past few months have been pretty rough. Some of it you have read here. But last week I took a trip out of town.
Let me tell you, that was a great decision, because I have decided to become a duck. No, it is not a career move, but a stance.
I will not let things bring me down, they will roll of my back. I had been unhappy with work and had let it affect me. I was starting to feel like a prisoner. I am in this hotel, because I am at work. I am in this car, because I am at work. I am at this restaurant, because I am at work. Every decision is dictated by the fact that I am stuck in Indianapolis for work.
So the family and I went to visit some friends over thanksgiving. We got a little R&R, and feel recharged.
So everyone else is stressed out for work. Not, me. You can't bring me down.
People getting mad at me. OK, but you can't bring me down.
I have to go to two stupid company Christmas parties, but they won't bring me down, because I AM A DUCK.
I've got Christmas music on the headphones. The "a Christmas Story" movie showing at a local theatre this week end. I am taking vacation for a couple of weeks at the end of the year. I will not let anything bring me down, no matter how hard you try for these next 17 days.
I hope you had a good Thanksgiving, I sure did.
Let me tell you, that was a great decision, because I have decided to become a duck. No, it is not a career move, but a stance.
I will not let things bring me down, they will roll of my back. I had been unhappy with work and had let it affect me. I was starting to feel like a prisoner. I am in this hotel, because I am at work. I am in this car, because I am at work. I am at this restaurant, because I am at work. Every decision is dictated by the fact that I am stuck in Indianapolis for work.
So the family and I went to visit some friends over thanksgiving. We got a little R&R, and feel recharged.
So everyone else is stressed out for work. Not, me. You can't bring me down.
People getting mad at me. OK, but you can't bring me down.
I have to go to two stupid company Christmas parties, but they won't bring me down, because I AM A DUCK.
I've got Christmas music on the headphones. The "a Christmas Story" movie showing at a local theatre this week end. I am taking vacation for a couple of weeks at the end of the year. I will not let anything bring me down, no matter how hard you try for these next 17 days.
I hope you had a good Thanksgiving, I sure did.
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