Sick Day

I am officially tired of:
Jay Leno/Conan O'Brien. Leno was gonna retire, but then decided against it. If I had been promised the old guys job but then he decides that he doesn't have anything better to do,I'd want $45 Million too.
Kasasa. What is it? I don't know but I'm tired of the commercials.
Pants on the Ground. It has been like 9 days and it is already the most over used thing of the year.
iPad. So it is better than the segway, penicillin, and hula hoops, and will SAVE THE WORLD, but couldn't they have come up with a better name?

So I don't know if any of that contributed, but I'm going to put myself on the transplant list. I need a new GI tract. What is my condition? I don't know for sure, but it sucks. I have recently discovered the joy that is heartburn. Oh yeah the deep seated pain that wont allow you to sleep at night? Fantastic!
That combined with the intestinal damage from drinking the water in a foreign land lead to a midnight rondezvous with greatness.
What is the antithesis of Nirvana? I'm not sure but it is a mystical balance of the pain, suffering and noise of sitting on the pot while holding a trashcan on your lap to contain the explosive evil trying to rip you in half from both ends.
My stomach ought to be charged with violating my constitutional rights.
I normally fight off the urge to vomit, but last night I decided to be zen like and go with the flow (I was going to lose the battle anyway).