Hey buddy, can you spare a dime?

I have been known to help people out. I have purchased a tank of gas for the guy who said he ran out and was stranded. I’ve purchased food for someone who said they needed some. However, one thing I do not do is give money to panhandlers.
Feel free to call me insensitive, but I just don’t believe it to be a good idea. That and, I usually don’t carry cash anyway.
Since I am so stingy what I write has no bearing on the situation, but you are the one who’s reading this and it didn’t cost you anything.

Rules for Panhandlers
1. Don’t dress nicer than I do. If you have alligator shoes and pressed slacks, I don’t believe you need my help.
2. Don’t shake your money container at me. There may be some people who will instantly pull out their cash at the melodic sound of change in a cup, but I expect more of a show.
A. Don’t look like you are dying of boredom. Display a little drive or ambition. If you play an instrument that is a great way to impress people.
3. Don’t approach me with “Hey man, I just got out of jail.” I already suspect you will not use the money that was formerly mine for food, don’t give me any other reason to doubt your sincerity. (Of course since he is a criminal I should be happy he didn’t shoot me.)
4. If you are in your 30s don’t hold up a “Viet Nam Vet” sign. At least update it to Iraq or Afghanistan or something. If you claim Bosnia or Somalia, I might give you something for creativity.
5. Don’t ask the women passing by for their phone number. It doesn’t work for construction guys and they are employed.

A public service announcement brought to you by this blog.