I needed new headphones. I have broken 3 pairs in the past year, so I was looking for quality. I called Radio Shack. (They call themselves "The Shack" now. and I find that annoying. I'm not sure if it is the love shack or the sugar shack, but it is probably similar to Mc Donald's calling themselves Mickey D's, but i digest.)
I called to the local store telling the guy what I wanted. Yeah they have those. So I went. When I got there I asked the salesgirl who came up to me what I was looking for and she pointed the way. I looked over the product offered, and selected two that were in the range I was willing to pay.
I then went to the counter and asked which of the two were better. The girl said to go with the cool brand because they were the cool ones. The manager actually looked at the product and showed me the technical specs and explained why the other pair was better.
I was glad that the guy had remembered me and realized that i couldn't care less about fads or what was better looking. I wanted the better product. (Any one who knows me can tell you I don't give a rip about appearance.)
It is nice to know that there are still people in the world who have the customers desires at heart. I wonder how many people still buy an inferior product simply because it is "the cool one."
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
The week in review
1. The two time-sheet issue is back. Someone mentioned that this subject is taking up more than its allotted two minutes. Yeah, I really wish it were not.
2. 80 year old men, ladders and roofs don’t mix
3. “We don’t have time to be organized” is probably going to be a bad approach.
4. It might actually be your concern over your daughter’s disease ridden boyfriend, and not related to anything I said that makes you think everything I say is wrong.
5. Photographers at national chain studios don’t seem to like it when you schedule a setting and tell them you won’t be buying anything, and just want to have the photos that the company arranges to have taken.
6. The movie 2001: a space odyssey is one of those things we are supposed to like. It makes us look smart. That movie is a decent homicidal computer in outer space story bookended by pretentious self-indulgent crap. The garbage in this movie is the type of stuff only the filmmaker had any idea what it meant. And It is Stanley Kubrick. He made a few movies, that have good moments but he is not the fantastic director all the film students want him to be. If anyone tells you that Kubrick means so much, they have no idea what he is saying. Loving Kubrick and especially 2001 is like having a complicated coffee order: it is directly proportional to the size of jerk you are.
7. Please no more "Christmas Carol" movies or rip offs. That is a dead horse that is not just beaten, but jumped up and down upon until the gunk bursts out.
2. 80 year old men, ladders and roofs don’t mix
3. “We don’t have time to be organized” is probably going to be a bad approach.
4. It might actually be your concern over your daughter’s disease ridden boyfriend, and not related to anything I said that makes you think everything I say is wrong.
5. Photographers at national chain studios don’t seem to like it when you schedule a setting and tell them you won’t be buying anything, and just want to have the photos that the company arranges to have taken.
6. The movie 2001: a space odyssey is one of those things we are supposed to like. It makes us look smart. That movie is a decent homicidal computer in outer space story bookended by pretentious self-indulgent crap. The garbage in this movie is the type of stuff only the filmmaker had any idea what it meant. And It is Stanley Kubrick. He made a few movies, that have good moments but he is not the fantastic director all the film students want him to be. If anyone tells you that Kubrick means so much, they have no idea what he is saying. Loving Kubrick and especially 2001 is like having a complicated coffee order: it is directly proportional to the size of jerk you are.
7. Please no more "Christmas Carol" movies or rip offs. That is a dead horse that is not just beaten, but jumped up and down upon until the gunk bursts out.
Monday, November 2, 2009
A really bad idea
I have a cold. I am pretty sure it it not the Hamthrax or the Aporkalypse, but I hate it either way. I don't do well when I am sick. So in my quest to quickly defeat this thing I have been using everything I can get my grubby hands on. The Zicam nose swabs aren't made any more, something about losing one's sense of taste. The other stuff they make is horrible. And it messes with your sense of taste too.
The effervescent taps that dissolve in water are good, but don't seem to work.
I have been using Muscinex. That stuff works. So does dayquil. And if they work well independently, they must work well together.
Not so much.
Do you want to know what happens when you mix Muscinex and Dayquil? You miss church, that's what. As a matter of fact, I couldn't remember my own name until about mid-morning today. I couldn't tell you what we did Saturday, it has been erased from my memory banks.
Another piece of advice: Do not watch "The Maltese Falcon" while mixing medications. It will make zero sense. But I did have a vision of scuba diving the streets of Venice. Do they allow that?
I think I should stick to the traditional medicines of my people: Sprite, Chicken Soup and Dayquil.
The effervescent taps that dissolve in water are good, but don't seem to work.
I have been using Muscinex. That stuff works. So does dayquil. And if they work well independently, they must work well together.
Not so much.
Do you want to know what happens when you mix Muscinex and Dayquil? You miss church, that's what. As a matter of fact, I couldn't remember my own name until about mid-morning today. I couldn't tell you what we did Saturday, it has been erased from my memory banks.
Another piece of advice: Do not watch "The Maltese Falcon" while mixing medications. It will make zero sense. But I did have a vision of scuba diving the streets of Venice. Do they allow that?
I think I should stick to the traditional medicines of my people: Sprite, Chicken Soup and Dayquil.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Did you even read it?
As you may have heard, I have some issues with my timesheet at work. We have two systems that have to reflect the exact thing; even though one has dropdown menus that force you into certain categories that aren’t entirely accurate. So, last week I worked for a few hours on a project I was asked to do. The person asking told me how to report my time and to just squeeze it in when my primary job got a little slow.
I wrote it up and sent it in on the two timesheets. One of them was approved. The other rejected. This was done by the same person. In his rejection he told me that I can’t submit this because there was no one to bill it to, and that I owed the primary job 40 hours a week. That you need to work until the job is done and that has to be at least 40 hours, but we aren’t a 9-5 operation and that you can’t exceed the 40 hours regularly. I can’t tell you how much to do just that you aren’t doing enough. His diatribe went on for several paragraphs. Do you remember the discussion of “Flair” at the Chotchkie’s restaurant in the movie “Office Space?” Yeah, it was like that.
So here I am on a Saturday morning with 4 missing hours, and no way to get in to the office to make them up, and a company that wants us not to work on the weekends.
So I responded by saying that I was asked to do it this way and what do I need to do to make up the time and how is that going to mess up our billing? Six hours later (and yes I skipped the family outing because I needed to somehow figure this out), he-e-mails back saying “Oh, OK that’s fine. Please resubmit your time card.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We have a new cell phone policy at work we were given two options. Option #1 was to assume the billing of our work issued cell phones and then submit re-imbursement. Or to get new phones on our own, return the company equipment and submit the bills for reimbursement. I don’t understand it either, but ok.
I decided to go with option 2, since I am due for a new phone anyway.
I e-mailed the lady in charge of the phones, who wrote the new policy, asking for the proper forms since I was (and I quote) “going with Option 2. And will be getting a new phone on my own. So I need to mail you the old equipment.”
She e-mails me back and says “Ok I will send the information “Which option are you going with.” You know I think I just told you that in my last e-mail. But I was polite and wrote back that it would be option 2. It is kind of like the person who after having an e-mail conversation with you finally requests your phone number even though it is in your signature line on every e-mail you send.
And don’t get me started on the credit card customer service call where I had to repeat everything at least three times. It seems his script and my telling of the story didn’t line-up.
I wrote it up and sent it in on the two timesheets. One of them was approved. The other rejected. This was done by the same person. In his rejection he told me that I can’t submit this because there was no one to bill it to, and that I owed the primary job 40 hours a week. That you need to work until the job is done and that has to be at least 40 hours, but we aren’t a 9-5 operation and that you can’t exceed the 40 hours regularly. I can’t tell you how much to do just that you aren’t doing enough. His diatribe went on for several paragraphs. Do you remember the discussion of “Flair” at the Chotchkie’s restaurant in the movie “Office Space?” Yeah, it was like that.
So here I am on a Saturday morning with 4 missing hours, and no way to get in to the office to make them up, and a company that wants us not to work on the weekends.
So I responded by saying that I was asked to do it this way and what do I need to do to make up the time and how is that going to mess up our billing? Six hours later (and yes I skipped the family outing because I needed to somehow figure this out), he-e-mails back saying “Oh, OK that’s fine. Please resubmit your time card.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We have a new cell phone policy at work we were given two options. Option #1 was to assume the billing of our work issued cell phones and then submit re-imbursement. Or to get new phones on our own, return the company equipment and submit the bills for reimbursement. I don’t understand it either, but ok.
I decided to go with option 2, since I am due for a new phone anyway.
I e-mailed the lady in charge of the phones, who wrote the new policy, asking for the proper forms since I was (and I quote) “going with Option 2. And will be getting a new phone on my own. So I need to mail you the old equipment.”
She e-mails me back and says “Ok I will send the information “Which option are you going with.” You know I think I just told you that in my last e-mail. But I was polite and wrote back that it would be option 2. It is kind of like the person who after having an e-mail conversation with you finally requests your phone number even though it is in your signature line on every e-mail you send.
And don’t get me started on the credit card customer service call where I had to repeat everything at least three times. It seems his script and my telling of the story didn’t line-up.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
And Now For Your Listening And Dancing Pleasure
I have found some new music. But, when I say new it usually is not new chronologically but new to me.
I discovered an interesting group called the Vitamin String Quartet. They perform arrangements of modern music in a classical style. They have tribute albums to groups I have never heard of, but the one’s I’ve listened to are pretty entertaining.
If you like interesting fusions check out Nuttin’ But Stringz. These are two brothers who are Julliard trained violinists who mix Classical with Hip-Hop. This sounds like it wouldn’t work, but trust me on this.
There is another group called Rockabye Baby! That does instrumental lullaby versions of current songs. Ok this stuff is interesting. It is at times difficult to hear the melody; I suppose that can happen when you use a toy piano. They do some fun stuff like the Beach Boys and the Beatles. They also do stuff from Nine Inch Nails and Metallica. If anyone ever uses this darker stuff as actual lullaby music, please do not be surprised if your kid starts setting fire to things.
The Pickin’ On series is kind of cool in small doses. They do covers of popular tunes in a bluegrass style. My personal favorites are “Come on Aileen” and “Take On Me.”
In 2004 Paul Anka released an album of lounge covers of 80’s and 90’s songs called Rock Swings. This album is not to be studied as serious music, but if you can get into the spirit of it, it is quite entertaining.
I discovered an interesting group called the Vitamin String Quartet. They perform arrangements of modern music in a classical style. They have tribute albums to groups I have never heard of, but the one’s I’ve listened to are pretty entertaining.
If you like interesting fusions check out Nuttin’ But Stringz. These are two brothers who are Julliard trained violinists who mix Classical with Hip-Hop. This sounds like it wouldn’t work, but trust me on this.
There is another group called Rockabye Baby! That does instrumental lullaby versions of current songs. Ok this stuff is interesting. It is at times difficult to hear the melody; I suppose that can happen when you use a toy piano. They do some fun stuff like the Beach Boys and the Beatles. They also do stuff from Nine Inch Nails and Metallica. If anyone ever uses this darker stuff as actual lullaby music, please do not be surprised if your kid starts setting fire to things.
The Pickin’ On series is kind of cool in small doses. They do covers of popular tunes in a bluegrass style. My personal favorites are “Come on Aileen” and “Take On Me.”
In 2004 Paul Anka released an album of lounge covers of 80’s and 90’s songs called Rock Swings. This album is not to be studied as serious music, but if you can get into the spirit of it, it is quite entertaining.
Monday, October 19, 2009
It's on!
I have a question that I need help with. It involves e-mail etiquette, so there may not be a correct answer.
When is it appropriate to start the flame war by cc'ing the higher-ups?
I got a e-mail last week from someone in payroll or billing or something, I'd never heard of her. (for a company that has never had anyone leave, we sure have a lot of turn over) She immediately starts in with "You messed up your two time sheets. they don't match. You need to fix it. We ask everyone to assure they match, and you didn't. arrg arrg arrg." (or something to that effect.) Who cares right? Problem is she CC'ed my supervisors and some upper-ups in the company.
Now if some one CC's your boss after repeatedly attempting to get you to rectify a problem that makes sense, but this was straight out of the gate.
So I was at least smart enough to be professional in my response:
"It looks like the discrepancy is 1 hour.
The (first time sheet) section of the spreadsheet you sent does not reflect an entry in (Second time sheet) for 1 hour on Tuesday, between 1400 and 1500 for an all hands Conference call. This entry is listed as non-billable on the (second time sheet)entry that day and is categorized as: 'Administrative General Participant.'
That may be the missing hour."
I have already complained about the ridiculousness of having two time sheet systems. This error on her part was a direct result of having to compare data in the two systems. This is just a minor oversight on her part. But she came charging out of the gate with no build-up. I think that is inappropriate. I went ahead and CC'ed my response to that same people she did. This seem appropriate.
Interestingly she has not responded.
First of all, don't mess with me, my ship is tight.
Second, how about giving a brother a chance to look at something before jumping his train?
Third, I hope publicizing your error and forcing me to show your bosses that you screwed-up backfired.
When is it appropriate to start the flame war by cc'ing the higher-ups?
I got a e-mail last week from someone in payroll or billing or something, I'd never heard of her. (for a company that has never had anyone leave, we sure have a lot of turn over) She immediately starts in with "You messed up your two time sheets. they don't match. You need to fix it. We ask everyone to assure they match, and you didn't. arrg arrg arrg." (or something to that effect.) Who cares right? Problem is she CC'ed my supervisors and some upper-ups in the company.
Now if some one CC's your boss after repeatedly attempting to get you to rectify a problem that makes sense, but this was straight out of the gate.
So I was at least smart enough to be professional in my response:
"It looks like the discrepancy is 1 hour.
The (first time sheet) section of the spreadsheet you sent does not reflect an entry in (Second time sheet) for 1 hour on Tuesday, between 1400 and 1500 for an all hands Conference call. This entry is listed as non-billable on the (second time sheet)entry that day and is categorized as: 'Administrative General Participant.'
That may be the missing hour."
I have already complained about the ridiculousness of having two time sheet systems. This error on her part was a direct result of having to compare data in the two systems. This is just a minor oversight on her part. But she came charging out of the gate with no build-up. I think that is inappropriate. I went ahead and CC'ed my response to that same people she did. This seem appropriate.
Interestingly she has not responded.
First of all, don't mess with me, my ship is tight.
Second, how about giving a brother a chance to look at something before jumping his train?
Third, I hope publicizing your error and forcing me to show your bosses that you screwed-up backfired.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
12 Days
UPDATE: Andrew Klavan sums it up nicely: "But that a group of presumably serious individuals convinced themselves that they might give such an award to a man who has accomplished nothing but the winning of elections does indeed say something about Obama’s role in their lives and the lives of people like them. It shows that they regard him as an empty vessel that they have filled with their political hopes and dreams–that they know he’s such a vessel and that they’re comfortable with that. This means, if you follow the logic, that the committee has essentially presented the Peace Prize to themselves, to their own feelings and aspirations. Thus, this year’s Nobel Peace Prize is, in effect, the ultimate expression of leftism: it’s people giving themselves an enormous pat on the back for their own excellent intentions without regard to results."
Original Post: By February 1, 2009, our president had written two books, been a full-time Senator for about 1 year (3 years part-time), gotten elected, and danced at some fancy balls.
He had not bowed to the Saudi King, he had not given I-Pods as gifts to the Queen and Prime Minister of England. He had not yet started on his apology tour. He had not thrown Poland and the rest of Eastern Europe to the Bears, nor had he quadrupuled the national dept. He had not yet appointed seven tax cheats to his cabinet, not had he found any wise latina judges (actually that is wrong, they have been trying to appoint her since 1993). He hadn't known of any stupidly acting cops, nor had he ignored the hundreds of teaparties and hundreds of thousands of protestors. He had not yet urged us to report fishy behavior, nor had he then asked us not to. He had not yet ignored the Black Panthers voting intimmidation, nor ha he asked the NEA to bring artists together to support his agenda, nor had he ignored ACORN's. He had not yet given bankruptcy preventing money to us auto manufacturers, nor had they declared bankruptcy anyway.
He had not ended the two wars the US is in. He had not closed Guantanamo Bay. Nor had he disarmed the US of its nuclear weapons. He had not yet threatened CIA operatives with lawsuits. Nor had he left Israel to fend for itself. He had not yet met with Chavez, nor sided with Zelaya. He had not yet failed to support the Iranian uprising, nor had he renamed the war on terror. He had not yet reversed positions on Darfur or ignored human rights abuses by China. Nor had been put on the Security Council where he was in a better position to do so.
The ocean levels are about the same, we only have 50 states and it has snowed earlier than in recorded history in some parts of the nation.
So why did the Nobel Committee award him the Peace prize? He was not George W. Bush.
Original Post: By February 1, 2009, our president had written two books, been a full-time Senator for about 1 year (3 years part-time), gotten elected, and danced at some fancy balls.
He had not bowed to the Saudi King, he had not given I-Pods as gifts to the Queen and Prime Minister of England. He had not yet started on his apology tour. He had not thrown Poland and the rest of Eastern Europe to the Bears, nor had he quadrupuled the national dept. He had not yet appointed seven tax cheats to his cabinet, not had he found any wise latina judges (actually that is wrong, they have been trying to appoint her since 1993). He hadn't known of any stupidly acting cops, nor had he ignored the hundreds of teaparties and hundreds of thousands of protestors. He had not yet urged us to report fishy behavior, nor had he then asked us not to. He had not yet ignored the Black Panthers voting intimmidation, nor ha he asked the NEA to bring artists together to support his agenda, nor had he ignored ACORN's. He had not yet given bankruptcy preventing money to us auto manufacturers, nor had they declared bankruptcy anyway.
He had not ended the two wars the US is in. He had not closed Guantanamo Bay. Nor had he disarmed the US of its nuclear weapons. He had not yet threatened CIA operatives with lawsuits. Nor had he left Israel to fend for itself. He had not yet met with Chavez, nor sided with Zelaya. He had not yet failed to support the Iranian uprising, nor had he renamed the war on terror. He had not yet reversed positions on Darfur or ignored human rights abuses by China. Nor had been put on the Security Council where he was in a better position to do so.
The ocean levels are about the same, we only have 50 states and it has snowed earlier than in recorded history in some parts of the nation.
So why did the Nobel Committee award him the Peace prize? He was not George W. Bush.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Thoughts on the Olympics
1. I doubt the recent gang violence had anything to do with their decision.
2. I doubt Blago had any thing to do with their decision.
3. Does the international community have any knowledge of Oprah?
4. I doubt the current President had much to do with their decision. That is why the stupid speeches of "how much I want the Olympics in Chicago" were a dumb move. His trip is a high profile loss and he fairly or not will be saddled with it. (for about a week, until some new Jon and Kate news comes out.) But the problem is he and his people thought his very presence would make a difference. Look, if Juan Antonio Samaranch's empassioned speech didn't work, why would Obama's?
5. Why wasn't Michael Jordon there? Or if he was, why haven't we heard about it?
6. The final 4 cities were selected over a year ago, so to rush in and say it is Bush's fault is acknowledging only a small part of the decision making process.
8. I think the fact that about half of the citizens didn't want it there had some bearing.
7. Rio is the first South American city that has put up any kind of argument that suggests they could handle it.
8. The US's standing worldwide is down, but it is not just our Iraq involvement. Our dollar is down, our debt is up, we look weak. If you look like a wimp people will walk all over you, and not just in the location selection of sporting events.
2. I doubt Blago had any thing to do with their decision.
3. Does the international community have any knowledge of Oprah?
4. I doubt the current President had much to do with their decision. That is why the stupid speeches of "how much I want the Olympics in Chicago" were a dumb move. His trip is a high profile loss and he fairly or not will be saddled with it. (for about a week, until some new Jon and Kate news comes out.) But the problem is he and his people thought his very presence would make a difference. Look, if Juan Antonio Samaranch's empassioned speech didn't work, why would Obama's?
5. Why wasn't Michael Jordon there? Or if he was, why haven't we heard about it?
6. The final 4 cities were selected over a year ago, so to rush in and say it is Bush's fault is acknowledging only a small part of the decision making process.
8. I think the fact that about half of the citizens didn't want it there had some bearing.
7. Rio is the first South American city that has put up any kind of argument that suggests they could handle it.
8. The US's standing worldwide is down, but it is not just our Iraq involvement. Our dollar is down, our debt is up, we look weak. If you look like a wimp people will walk all over you, and not just in the location selection of sporting events.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Thoughts on Polanski...
a few years ago noted intellectual Cameron Diaz urged woman to vote to keep rape illegal (at the time I was unaware of any party supporting the legalization of rape issue).
now we hear the leading political thinkers like Whoopie Goldberg are supporting rape (so long as it isn't done twice as in "rape-rape")
Why did we not listen to Ms. Diaz?, we could have shut down this whole pro-rape movement.
See folks this is why we should stay away from the slipery slope.
now we hear the leading political thinkers like Whoopie Goldberg are supporting rape (so long as it isn't done twice as in "rape-rape")
Why did we not listen to Ms. Diaz?, we could have shut down this whole pro-rape movement.
See folks this is why we should stay away from the slipery slope.
Working is highly overrated
“Hey can you do this section of the project? I will work on the other part.”
“Sure. I’ll email it to you when I am done.”
“OK. I will be working on it over the weekend.”
So I work on my portion. Basically it consisted of doing some calculations to determine a value, that will be added into a software formula that will compute a benefit cost ratio for a project we are working on.
I then send it via e-mail.
I then get back a message, “Can you send me the data points I need?”
“Which ones?”
“The square footage, the discount ratio, the date of construction, the project costs” etc.
“Should I just run all the numbers in the software?”
“No, I’ll do that part.”
Yeah she will do the actual importation of the data into the software, but none of the background information. So, I ended up having to 95% of the work including putting it into the importable spreadsheet format, so that another person could hit run on the software.
Then we heard her say: “I got all the numbers to work.” Yeah, thanks for all your hard work.
I have a community I work with weekly on the development of a grant application. We have a standing Wednesday appointment. We have a deadline of Halloween. So the last two weeks on a row, he emails me and wants to move it to Thursday. No problem. Except that on both Thursdays he had to cut our work sessions short by about half. So we have a standing meeting for 3 months now, and he moves them to a busier day where we can’t actually accomplish all we need to. Of course he didn’t tell me we had to cut it short until I was there. Oh yeah, it is a 1 ½ hour one-way drive for me to get to his office.
For the past year I have been told that any time I work over 40 hours in a week, can be used for time off. I can only use it at 50% but still. So last march I took a comp time day off. I used 16 hours to take off an 8 hour day. So there is a state holiay comming up that is not company holiday. No problem I have over 100 hours of overtime. So I ask my supervisor how he wants me to record this on my time sheet. It turns out I am not authorized for comptime, and the company has no record of me earning any. Wow, thanks. The company gets to bill the client more hours (and they get on my case for not working additional overtime) and I get the saisfaction of kowing they are doing it.
“Sure. I’ll email it to you when I am done.”
“OK. I will be working on it over the weekend.”
So I work on my portion. Basically it consisted of doing some calculations to determine a value, that will be added into a software formula that will compute a benefit cost ratio for a project we are working on.
I then send it via e-mail.
I then get back a message, “Can you send me the data points I need?”
“Which ones?”
“The square footage, the discount ratio, the date of construction, the project costs” etc.
“Should I just run all the numbers in the software?”
“No, I’ll do that part.”
Yeah she will do the actual importation of the data into the software, but none of the background information. So, I ended up having to 95% of the work including putting it into the importable spreadsheet format, so that another person could hit run on the software.
Then we heard her say: “I got all the numbers to work.” Yeah, thanks for all your hard work.
I have a community I work with weekly on the development of a grant application. We have a standing Wednesday appointment. We have a deadline of Halloween. So the last two weeks on a row, he emails me and wants to move it to Thursday. No problem. Except that on both Thursdays he had to cut our work sessions short by about half. So we have a standing meeting for 3 months now, and he moves them to a busier day where we can’t actually accomplish all we need to. Of course he didn’t tell me we had to cut it short until I was there. Oh yeah, it is a 1 ½ hour one-way drive for me to get to his office.
For the past year I have been told that any time I work over 40 hours in a week, can be used for time off. I can only use it at 50% but still. So last march I took a comp time day off. I used 16 hours to take off an 8 hour day. So there is a state holiay comming up that is not company holiday. No problem I have over 100 hours of overtime. So I ask my supervisor how he wants me to record this on my time sheet. It turns out I am not authorized for comptime, and the company has no record of me earning any. Wow, thanks. The company gets to bill the client more hours (and they get on my case for not working additional overtime) and I get the saisfaction of kowing they are doing it.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Cuss like a Sailor
I have found a new hobby. I will start collecting words that sound like vulgarities, but really are not. For example: Kumquat: as in Pickle you, Kumquat! I actually had a website block a post I made using that phrase. This comes from a gum commercial.
Tube Sock: I originally heard this used as “put a tube sock in it.” But, I think it is more of a “Listen up tube sock.” kind of a thing.
Twitter and Google these sound to me like dirty activities.
Tenderfoot, Gooseneck, Danforth, Woodplank, Gimblet, Dogwatch, These words all sound dirty but I don’t really know why.
I have discovered that certain words when used as either prefixes or suffixes will always sound dirty.
For example:
Grit-, Toe-, Dutch-, Dill-, Love-, caster-,
Or
-wagon, -sack, -lick, -bag, -purge, -eye, -knob, -nugget, -apple, -knocker, -carnival, -wipe, -treat, -nozzle, -monkey, -glider, -spackle, -munch, -cheese.
Doesn’t Spraynozzle, Sandbag or Casterangle sound vile? How about Noseapple, Doorknocker, or Dutchtreat? Lovepump, Dillweed and Sugarglider?
It seems highly appropriate to me that since tomorrow is International Talk Like A Pirate Day, That I should point out fo how vulgar nautical terms can be:
Gunklode, Gunwale, Keelhaul, Kingspoke, Eyesplice, Baggywrinkles, Barepole, Beamreach, Boltrope, Yardarm, Anchorchoke, Backstaff, Bouyant, Pitchpole, Anchorchock, Bungmallet, Bilgepump and Futtock.
Enjoy the tardcarnival.
Tube Sock: I originally heard this used as “put a tube sock in it.” But, I think it is more of a “Listen up tube sock.” kind of a thing.
Twitter and Google these sound to me like dirty activities.
Tenderfoot, Gooseneck, Danforth, Woodplank, Gimblet, Dogwatch, These words all sound dirty but I don’t really know why.
I have discovered that certain words when used as either prefixes or suffixes will always sound dirty.
For example:
Grit-, Toe-, Dutch-, Dill-, Love-, caster-,
Or
-wagon, -sack, -lick, -bag, -purge, -eye, -knob, -nugget, -apple, -knocker, -carnival, -wipe, -treat, -nozzle, -monkey, -glider, -spackle, -munch, -cheese.
Doesn’t Spraynozzle, Sandbag or Casterangle sound vile? How about Noseapple, Doorknocker, or Dutchtreat? Lovepump, Dillweed and Sugarglider?
It seems highly appropriate to me that since tomorrow is International Talk Like A Pirate Day, That I should point out fo how vulgar nautical terms can be:
Gunklode, Gunwale, Keelhaul, Kingspoke, Eyesplice, Baggywrinkles, Barepole, Beamreach, Boltrope, Yardarm, Anchorchoke, Backstaff, Bouyant, Pitchpole, Anchorchock, Bungmallet, Bilgepump and Futtock.
Enjoy the tardcarnival.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Good Luck, Mr. Gorski
A coworker is telling an funny story about Neil Armstrong and the famous quote about his neighbor. You’ve heard the Mr. Gorski reference right? If not look it up when you are at home. I hadn’t heard the entire story just the quote “Good luck, Mr. Gorski.” He, the co-worker, finished up by saying it is a true story.
We’ve all gotten e-mails with titles like “Yesterday in the Gulf of Mexico” where they show a tornado next to a lightning bolt next to an oil rig. Or, recently declassified WTC photos. Or, Nationwide gas boycott on Wednesday.
The people who pass these along or retell these stories want to share something with you that they appreciated hearing. They like me, I get it. But the problem is that much of what you hear or read, especially if it is online is embellished or outright fabricated.
The Gorski story is from an old Buddy Hackett routine.
The Tornado and lightning bolt photo is many years old and has been used on posters. All people do is Photoshop a current picture into the shot.
The WTC photos were all the same ones we’ve seen for 8 years now.
The gas boycott usually asks you to fill-up on a different day, which of course does nothing to reduce overall usage.
How do I know all this? Snopes.com. They are the debunkers of urban myths. Give them a try before hitting the forward e-mail button.
Now, if I can just get people to stop sending me the chain mails. “Send this to 10 people or you will be punched in the face. Ethel Jones of Wicakashaw, Minnesota didn’t and now she has her jaw wired shut.”
We’ve all gotten e-mails with titles like “Yesterday in the Gulf of Mexico” where they show a tornado next to a lightning bolt next to an oil rig. Or, recently declassified WTC photos. Or, Nationwide gas boycott on Wednesday.
The people who pass these along or retell these stories want to share something with you that they appreciated hearing. They like me, I get it. But the problem is that much of what you hear or read, especially if it is online is embellished or outright fabricated.
The Gorski story is from an old Buddy Hackett routine.
The Tornado and lightning bolt photo is many years old and has been used on posters. All people do is Photoshop a current picture into the shot.
The WTC photos were all the same ones we’ve seen for 8 years now.
The gas boycott usually asks you to fill-up on a different day, which of course does nothing to reduce overall usage.
How do I know all this? Snopes.com. They are the debunkers of urban myths. Give them a try before hitting the forward e-mail button.
Now, if I can just get people to stop sending me the chain mails. “Send this to 10 people or you will be punched in the face. Ethel Jones of Wicakashaw, Minnesota didn’t and now she has her jaw wired shut.”
Monday, September 14, 2009
The latest
1. I have two time cards I have to fill out for work. The first one is going away and so we were told we could just refer to the new one for the daily entries. The new one requires us to be detailed in our entries. The system has us break down the day into chunks of time and write up what we did in that chunk.
A couple of weeks ago we were again told that the old system will be going away, but that we now had to copy the exact entries in to the write-up sections as we put in the new system.
So the old system is going away but you now have to fill it out more completely than ever before, until it does. Asinine.
2. On September 11, 2001, the Dow Jones closed at 9605. It closed at 9605 on September 11, 2009 as well. Does it mean anything? No.
3. Why to wide receivers and runningbacks celebrate when they make touchdowns? Isn’t that their job? I think Vince Lombardi said “act like you've been there before.” One exception: If you are a 350 lb lineman and some how you score a touchdown, You celebrate all you wnat. If that is, you can catch your breath.
4. One of the most memorable images for me of the September 11th attacks was “The Falling Man.” This image apparently was quite controversial, and I didn’t discover it until one of the anniversaries. It for me really causes me to pause an reflect. Seemingly, it causes that same effect in others. On you tube there is a documentary about the attempt, for better or worse, of identifying the man in the photo. If you are interested you can find it here
5. I find it annoying that people will use an elevator to go up or down one floor. I find people who stand on moving sidewalks and escalators annoying as well.
6. I find it disrespectful to refer to significant dates in abbreviated form. For example: 6/6 or 12/7. I would rather they be referred to as the name of the event. D-Day or Pearl Harbor. That is a little more difficult with September 11th. The events of that day happened at multiple locations. This difficulty leads me to refer to them by the date. The significance of those events causes me to refer to them by as proper a name as I can.
7. The fire alarm goes off about twice a week here. It seems people are unfamiliar with how to cook with-out burning food. I suppose it might not be wise to deep fry a steak. When I moved in I had to use an entire bottle of Febreeze, to remove the burnt curry popcorn stench. So far today: 4 times in 3 hours.
8. that's all I got
A couple of weeks ago we were again told that the old system will be going away, but that we now had to copy the exact entries in to the write-up sections as we put in the new system.
So the old system is going away but you now have to fill it out more completely than ever before, until it does. Asinine.
2. On September 11, 2001, the Dow Jones closed at 9605. It closed at 9605 on September 11, 2009 as well. Does it mean anything? No.
3. Why to wide receivers and runningbacks celebrate when they make touchdowns? Isn’t that their job? I think Vince Lombardi said “act like you've been there before.” One exception: If you are a 350 lb lineman and some how you score a touchdown, You celebrate all you wnat. If that is, you can catch your breath.
4. One of the most memorable images for me of the September 11th attacks was “The Falling Man.” This image apparently was quite controversial, and I didn’t discover it until one of the anniversaries. It for me really causes me to pause an reflect. Seemingly, it causes that same effect in others. On you tube there is a documentary about the attempt, for better or worse, of identifying the man in the photo. If you are interested you can find it here
5. I find it annoying that people will use an elevator to go up or down one floor. I find people who stand on moving sidewalks and escalators annoying as well.
6. I find it disrespectful to refer to significant dates in abbreviated form. For example: 6/6 or 12/7. I would rather they be referred to as the name of the event. D-Day or Pearl Harbor. That is a little more difficult with September 11th. The events of that day happened at multiple locations. This difficulty leads me to refer to them by the date. The significance of those events causes me to refer to them by as proper a name as I can.
7. The fire alarm goes off about twice a week here. It seems people are unfamiliar with how to cook with-out burning food. I suppose it might not be wise to deep fry a steak. When I moved in I had to use an entire bottle of Febreeze, to remove the burnt curry popcorn stench. So far today: 4 times in 3 hours.
8. that's all I got
Friday, September 11, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Who does that?
I recently flew a public carrier again. Yes, they still have the special lane for the first class people. Wouldn't the people in first class rather be seated last, and avoid the rest of us riff raff? But, OK.
I met a new favorite person: Mr. I have no idea how this works. I kind of feel for the guy, but flying isn't that hard. If your boarding pass says "Group 3" and you can read it and say it out loud to the people around you, you should probably wait until group 3 is called and not stand in front of the ticket reading machine.
Of course this was not his only difficulty. He also had about 3 minutes worth of trouble with the overhead bin.
But he is not the only thing grinding my gears.
Who are the people who partially fill out the crossword and sudoku puzzles? and in pen? What? was it too tough? Was the flight too short? did you get bored?
I don't really think that people who do these want your help. These are not really team events.
And just so you know, the Sky Mall catalog is "Free. Take it and we will replace it." It says so right on the cover. So you don't need to tear out the pages you want. You condemn the rest of America to a month of not knowing what is on the fourth page of the Design Toscano ad, or the latest innovation from Hammacher Schlemmer. I mean one can only read the safety card so many times.
I met a new favorite person: Mr. I have no idea how this works. I kind of feel for the guy, but flying isn't that hard. If your boarding pass says "Group 3" and you can read it and say it out loud to the people around you, you should probably wait until group 3 is called and not stand in front of the ticket reading machine.
Of course this was not his only difficulty. He also had about 3 minutes worth of trouble with the overhead bin.
But he is not the only thing grinding my gears.
Who are the people who partially fill out the crossword and sudoku puzzles? and in pen? What? was it too tough? Was the flight too short? did you get bored?
I don't really think that people who do these want your help. These are not really team events.
And just so you know, the Sky Mall catalog is "Free. Take it and we will replace it." It says so right on the cover. So you don't need to tear out the pages you want. You condemn the rest of America to a month of not knowing what is on the fourth page of the Design Toscano ad, or the latest innovation from Hammacher Schlemmer. I mean one can only read the safety card so many times.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Fellow Travelers Alert
The Organizing for America people are staying in my hotel. I say it is mine because I’ve been here for eight months now.
I couldn’t really find any non-partisan information about them on the web, all I really know is that it is what became of the Elect Obama campaign.
The bus is taking up about seven parking spaces in the lot. Of course, it’s not like anyone else wants to use the lot. I mean it is not like “Lord of the Flies” around here trying to get a spot in the evening. I’ve seen Wal-Mart parking lots with less insanity. But, I digest.
I’m sure that they will show us how real grass-roots organizing works. You know the professionally painted bus, the professionally printed signs, the professionally silk-screened t-shirts the 13 million e-mail database. These guys aren’t like those artificial turf protestors who use word of mouth and sharpies to get out their message. Voof.
I couldn’t really find any non-partisan information about them on the web, all I really know is that it is what became of the Elect Obama campaign.
The bus is taking up about seven parking spaces in the lot. Of course, it’s not like anyone else wants to use the lot. I mean it is not like “Lord of the Flies” around here trying to get a spot in the evening. I’ve seen Wal-Mart parking lots with less insanity. But, I digest.
I’m sure that they will show us how real grass-roots organizing works. You know the professionally painted bus, the professionally printed signs, the professionally silk-screened t-shirts the 13 million e-mail database. These guys aren’t like those artificial turf protestors who use word of mouth and sharpies to get out their message. Voof.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Some too soon, others not soon enough
The current list of stuff making me nuts:
Toddlers and Tiaras: Some network, I think it is The Learning Channel, has this show about beauty pageants for very young girls. We are talking like 4 and 5 years old. I have not watched it so I may be off base here (but I doubt it and if the president doesn’t need to know the facts neither do I), but the people would put their kids in these things are sick. Seriously, living vicariously through your kids is sad but exposing them to this should be punishable by law. They dress these children up in gowns and make up and parade them in front of America. How long before one of these kids gets kidnapped and killed by some pedophile.
For the sake of these kids, this show must die. But TLC has proven with Jon and Kate that they have no interest in children’s well being.
Apparently, Reading Rainbow is officially dead. They stopped filming new episodes a couple of years ago, but now reruns won’t even run. This is sad to me. I haven’t watched the show in many years but it was nice knowing it was there.
Speaking of dead, Tedward Kennedy and St. Michael of Jackson are still. I really thought they might come back after a few days and carry out their first miracles. It seems that the media has canonized these two men as saints, and the world just needs to acknowledge what they have known all along. The problem is you are not allowed to discuss any of their faults, because apparently they didn’t have any. We do no one a service by focusing on only the good. The full measure of a man is his life in its entirety.
Kennedy couldn’t be buried soon enough for me. The wall-to-wall coverage on 12 stations really got old. And, really it is time to bury Jackson. I realize four autopsies take a while, but really, it is time. Only problem is that his basilica hasn’t been built and no one knows where the body is.
John Hughes is still dead too, and that sucks. He meant more to me than these other two. In the 1980’s he was king of the teen drama. He seems to be an adult that really understood kids and their problems. His movies helped millions get through those tough years. I realize that kids from the 70’s and earlier or now probably place no value in those films, but to be fair, the stuff they liked is complete garbage in my eyes. I’m not arrogant enough to believe that only the suff from my formative years is quality, but I do believe it reflects the times and movies made for different generations doesn’t always translate.
Toddlers and Tiaras: Some network, I think it is The Learning Channel, has this show about beauty pageants for very young girls. We are talking like 4 and 5 years old. I have not watched it so I may be off base here (but I doubt it and if the president doesn’t need to know the facts neither do I), but the people would put their kids in these things are sick. Seriously, living vicariously through your kids is sad but exposing them to this should be punishable by law. They dress these children up in gowns and make up and parade them in front of America. How long before one of these kids gets kidnapped and killed by some pedophile.
For the sake of these kids, this show must die. But TLC has proven with Jon and Kate that they have no interest in children’s well being.
Apparently, Reading Rainbow is officially dead. They stopped filming new episodes a couple of years ago, but now reruns won’t even run. This is sad to me. I haven’t watched the show in many years but it was nice knowing it was there.
Speaking of dead, Tedward Kennedy and St. Michael of Jackson are still. I really thought they might come back after a few days and carry out their first miracles. It seems that the media has canonized these two men as saints, and the world just needs to acknowledge what they have known all along. The problem is you are not allowed to discuss any of their faults, because apparently they didn’t have any. We do no one a service by focusing on only the good. The full measure of a man is his life in its entirety.
Kennedy couldn’t be buried soon enough for me. The wall-to-wall coverage on 12 stations really got old. And, really it is time to bury Jackson. I realize four autopsies take a while, but really, it is time. Only problem is that his basilica hasn’t been built and no one knows where the body is.
John Hughes is still dead too, and that sucks. He meant more to me than these other two. In the 1980’s he was king of the teen drama. He seems to be an adult that really understood kids and their problems. His movies helped millions get through those tough years. I realize that kids from the 70’s and earlier or now probably place no value in those films, but to be fair, the stuff they liked is complete garbage in my eyes. I’m not arrogant enough to believe that only the suff from my formative years is quality, but I do believe it reflects the times and movies made for different generations doesn’t always translate.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Addicts in the workplace
Over the past couple of days, I was in a training course. While the topic is unimportant, it is note worthy that the instructors were subject matter experts.
The annoying thing about it was the behavior of the female instructor. She started off by saying she hadn’t had her methadone yet and wasn’t functioning up to par. She asked if there was a dispensary anywhere near by.
She mentioned her addition over 20 times over the course of the two days. I found it to be highly unprofessional. She was unable to properly carry out her job without it.
The truth is that she was not a Heroin addict, thus necessitating the replacement. But, she was addicted to coffee. Probably more specifically: caffeine.
Am I the only person in America who thinks that our society’s celebration of coffee addiction is pathetic?
People will line up in the morning to buy the stuff on the way to work. They will bring large containers of it in with them. They will buy machines to brew it at home and a work. They will get angry when there is none available. They will force underlings to make it and demand that s/he keep it on hand for the superiors use. Tardiness is dismissed by blaming a long line of other addicts.
If this were alcohol or cocaine, no one would accept this behavior, without demanding that the person seek treatment. However, coffee is cool. Coffee is gourmet. You can brew special flavors or add special ingredients. Is this done with other drugs? Hazelnut crack?
I know that pot smokers and drinkers have fancy paraphernalia, but the coffee people have the same thing. There are fancy and special blends of alcohol, pot, coke, and designer drugs. Well there are designer coffees. But I find it very interesting that the most expensive coffee in the world is picked out of the excrement of some jungle animal.
No self-respecting alcoholic would drink “Monkey butt rum.”
I am against addictions of all kinds. I think coffee or at least caffeine should be limited to specific medicinal uses (it does wonders when added to painkillers). America needs to wake up and realize that if this were any other product, the unprofessional behaviors engaged in by its addicts, it would not be tolerated.
On the other hand, if we would just tax the snot out of it, we could pay down this national debt.
The annoying thing about it was the behavior of the female instructor. She started off by saying she hadn’t had her methadone yet and wasn’t functioning up to par. She asked if there was a dispensary anywhere near by.
She mentioned her addition over 20 times over the course of the two days. I found it to be highly unprofessional. She was unable to properly carry out her job without it.
The truth is that she was not a Heroin addict, thus necessitating the replacement. But, she was addicted to coffee. Probably more specifically: caffeine.
Am I the only person in America who thinks that our society’s celebration of coffee addiction is pathetic?
People will line up in the morning to buy the stuff on the way to work. They will bring large containers of it in with them. They will buy machines to brew it at home and a work. They will get angry when there is none available. They will force underlings to make it and demand that s/he keep it on hand for the superiors use. Tardiness is dismissed by blaming a long line of other addicts.
If this were alcohol or cocaine, no one would accept this behavior, without demanding that the person seek treatment. However, coffee is cool. Coffee is gourmet. You can brew special flavors or add special ingredients. Is this done with other drugs? Hazelnut crack?
I know that pot smokers and drinkers have fancy paraphernalia, but the coffee people have the same thing. There are fancy and special blends of alcohol, pot, coke, and designer drugs. Well there are designer coffees. But I find it very interesting that the most expensive coffee in the world is picked out of the excrement of some jungle animal.
No self-respecting alcoholic would drink “Monkey butt rum.”
I am against addictions of all kinds. I think coffee or at least caffeine should be limited to specific medicinal uses (it does wonders when added to painkillers). America needs to wake up and realize that if this were any other product, the unprofessional behaviors engaged in by its addicts, it would not be tolerated.
On the other hand, if we would just tax the snot out of it, we could pay down this national debt.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Dear Disney Corporation:
I am constantly amazed at your ability to create celebrities out of young children. Whether it is Hanna Montana, The Jonas Brothers, Raven or any other of the dozens of teen celebrities whose careers you have launched, it is truly something to behold.
On that note, I would like to inquire as to whether you actually buy the children or their souls. You see I have a young son, and I am quite interested in entering into a relationship with your company. I believe it would be beneficial to both of us if you were to lease him.
I realize that he will only be useful to you for a period of about 12 years, at which time, I am perfectly willing to take him back. I am reluctant to sell him to you outright, and I really have no interest in selling his soul.
He is young enough where you could mold him into the perfect money making machine, and I would like to ensure his financial future.
Please see the attached photo. I am sure you would agree, he is quite the good-looking child.
I eagerly await your reply and look forward to many profitable years of working together.
Sincerely,
On that note, I would like to inquire as to whether you actually buy the children or their souls. You see I have a young son, and I am quite interested in entering into a relationship with your company. I believe it would be beneficial to both of us if you were to lease him.
I realize that he will only be useful to you for a period of about 12 years, at which time, I am perfectly willing to take him back. I am reluctant to sell him to you outright, and I really have no interest in selling his soul.
He is young enough where you could mold him into the perfect money making machine, and I would like to ensure his financial future.
Please see the attached photo. I am sure you would agree, he is quite the good-looking child.
I eagerly await your reply and look forward to many profitable years of working together.
Sincerely,
Enough Already
This is a list of the stuff that is ticking me off at the moment:
Awkward Turtle: Are kids really doing this? Man, kids are dumb. Add this, "Talk to the hand" and the L on the forehead to gestures that will be banned when the revolution comes.
Flag@whitehouse.gov: Report fishy statements about health care? No. I say we "Rickroll" them.
Astroturf: This phrase is used to refer to fake grassroots movements. Get it? Yeah. It is only mildly clever on a good day. However, when 60+ year old politicians use it, it is just pathetic.
Teachable Moment: Ok so the President took the opportunity to drink some beer with a cop and an angry professor. OK,whatever. But the president first took the opportunity to lecture America about racism and stupidity. How about a “brilliant” politician take a moment to teach himself not to speak out when he admittedly does not have the facts?
Indiana: The whole state.
Face tattoos: If you decide to get one, either you work in a tattoo parlor, or you are condemning yourself to a career of night shit work on a street repair crew.
Commercials that use songs I like: I know songwriters have a right to sell the use of their music, but to advertise bathroom related products?
Housekeeping: Seriously, how hard is it to take out the garbage? And, five days in a row?
Hotel laundry rooms: The communal nature isn’t really a problem, except that there is someone running around with a University of North Texas t-shirt and some used white socks.
Reality dating shows: If your main character comes back for a second season, they aren’t looking for the love of their life.
Video Games are not a sport and have no business on ESPN.
Remakes: I know being creative is hard, but if you are going to remake a movie, you really need to do a good job. Sometimes that old black and white movie staring people who have been dead for 30 years and cost $30K to make, is better than the movie you spent 2 years of your life on.
Celebrities: Look, if you say something stupid, more that 150 Million people are going to intentionally avoid your next movie.
Bling: This word has been overused for years. Stop using it. If you use it and are over 40, you are at risk of getting stabbed in the neck, if I hear you .
Jon and Kate and the Octo-mom: No one cared before, and now? You are the kind of people that crowds encourage to jump off high buildings.
Awkward Turtle: Are kids really doing this? Man, kids are dumb. Add this, "Talk to the hand" and the L on the forehead to gestures that will be banned when the revolution comes.
Flag@whitehouse.gov: Report fishy statements about health care? No. I say we "Rickroll" them.
Astroturf: This phrase is used to refer to fake grassroots movements. Get it? Yeah. It is only mildly clever on a good day. However, when 60+ year old politicians use it, it is just pathetic.
Teachable Moment: Ok so the President took the opportunity to drink some beer with a cop and an angry professor. OK,whatever. But the president first took the opportunity to lecture America about racism and stupidity. How about a “brilliant” politician take a moment to teach himself not to speak out when he admittedly does not have the facts?
Indiana: The whole state.
Face tattoos: If you decide to get one, either you work in a tattoo parlor, or you are condemning yourself to a career of night shit work on a street repair crew.
Commercials that use songs I like: I know songwriters have a right to sell the use of their music, but to advertise bathroom related products?
Housekeeping: Seriously, how hard is it to take out the garbage? And, five days in a row?
Hotel laundry rooms: The communal nature isn’t really a problem, except that there is someone running around with a University of North Texas t-shirt and some used white socks.
Reality dating shows: If your main character comes back for a second season, they aren’t looking for the love of their life.
Video Games are not a sport and have no business on ESPN.
Remakes: I know being creative is hard, but if you are going to remake a movie, you really need to do a good job. Sometimes that old black and white movie staring people who have been dead for 30 years and cost $30K to make, is better than the movie you spent 2 years of your life on.
Celebrities: Look, if you say something stupid, more that 150 Million people are going to intentionally avoid your next movie.
Bling: This word has been overused for years. Stop using it. If you use it and are over 40, you are at risk of getting stabbed in the neck, if I hear you .
Jon and Kate and the Octo-mom: No one cared before, and now? You are the kind of people that crowds encourage to jump off high buildings.
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