A departure from the complaints.
After the War (Tim Irvine)http://rope.wbap.com/mark/afterthewar.mp3
My name is Billy Johnson.
Indiana's my state.
I turned 21 back in '68.
Drafted into the army, sent to Fort Leonard Wood.
When I left my hometown, I prayed it wasn't for good.
His name was Hector Gonzalez, from San Jose.
We got stuck with KP the very first day.
After peelin' potatoes for hours on end,
Hector and I were the closest of friends.
When they put us on a troop jet, and flew us to 'Nam,
Some guy stood up in the back and read the twenty-third psalm.
He talked about walkin' through that valley of death.
I said, "Hector I'm scared." He said, "Just take a deep breath."
When we got off the plane and our assignments came in,
I got sent to Pleiku, he got sent to Long Binh.
He hugged me goodbye and turned around at the door,
And he said, "Don't forget look me up, after the war."
About three months later, he wrote me a letter.
He said some days are rough and some days are better,
And a kid named Gilardo we knew from basic training,
Was missing in action up north. "By the way, I meant what I said before:
Don't forget to look me up, after the war."
I was out on patrol in the spring of '69,
I stepped on a trip wire, took some shrapnel from a mine.
Spent the rest of my tour in a hospital bed,
With a pin in my leg, and a plate in my head.
On the plane ride home, I thought of all I'd been through.
I'd lived nine lives and I was just 22.
And I thought about Hector and what I'd promised before,
And I planned to look him up, right after the war.
Twenty-one years later in Washington, DC,
I was there on vacation with my family.
I went out to that park to see that wall,
And face up to a past I didn't want to recall.
First, I looked for that guy that Hector wrote me about,
He wasn't on the list, I guess he lucked out.
Then my eyes caught a name at the top of the page,
Corporal Hector Gonzalez, 21 years of age.
My throat got tight. My mouth went dry.
I looked up at that wall and I started to cry.
And the memories hit me like incoming fire,
From a time when we were so-o-o young,
Hector wavin' at me from the door,
Sayin', "Don't forget to look me up, after the war."
I lay awake some nights. I can still hear the guns,
Still hear the screams, I can still taste the blood.
I can still see Hector wavin' goodbye from the door,
Sayin', "Don't forget to look me up, after the war."
Friday, May 22, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
Easy Solution to a Non-Problem
Why do people feel the need to ban things they can easily avoid?
"I don't like what you said on the radio." Ok. Change the station.
"I don't like gambling." Ok, don't do it.
See how easy that is? If you don't like it, be a grown up and avoid it. But the anti-smoking people don't seem to understand this simple concept. They get government to make rules that force bars and restaurants to disallow smoking in their establishments.
I know the customer is always right. But that is a customer service approach, not a law. As a customer do you have the right to demand that they cook something that is not on the menu? You can suggest to them that they expand their menu. But ultimately it is up to the owner to decide on this.
No one is forcing you to go to that restautant or bar. You have the right to avoid spending time there. I don't smoke. I don't drink. I don't spend time in places where that goes on. I make the big boy decision to avoid that establishment.
What right do I have to demand that a business that has an established theme, clientele, decor, menu and pricing structure, to change to meet my desires?
"But the children!!" Ok here is the adult thing to do: DO NOT GO IN THERE. "But, the workers!!" So, they didn't know it was a smoking establishment? They are forced to work there? The adult thing to do if you work in a restaurant and don't want to be surrounded by smoke: GET A DIFFERENT JOB. See how easy that is.
Maybe we need a disclaimer on that door that shows what happens in the building, like a consumer information panel. I'd support this if it let the owners have the freedom to run their business as they see fit.
You know, I really want to go to that strip club, but I don't want to see nudity. You need to cover those girls up.
I just moved to the country but don't like the smell of manure. Let's change the zoning to force the farmer out.
I want that home stereo system. I can't afford it. I will only pay you this much, and you have to accept it.
See how stupid that sounds?
"I don't like what you said on the radio." Ok. Change the station.
"I don't like gambling." Ok, don't do it.
See how easy that is? If you don't like it, be a grown up and avoid it. But the anti-smoking people don't seem to understand this simple concept. They get government to make rules that force bars and restaurants to disallow smoking in their establishments.
I know the customer is always right. But that is a customer service approach, not a law. As a customer do you have the right to demand that they cook something that is not on the menu? You can suggest to them that they expand their menu. But ultimately it is up to the owner to decide on this.
No one is forcing you to go to that restautant or bar. You have the right to avoid spending time there. I don't smoke. I don't drink. I don't spend time in places where that goes on. I make the big boy decision to avoid that establishment.
What right do I have to demand that a business that has an established theme, clientele, decor, menu and pricing structure, to change to meet my desires?
"But the children!!" Ok here is the adult thing to do: DO NOT GO IN THERE. "But, the workers!!" So, they didn't know it was a smoking establishment? They are forced to work there? The adult thing to do if you work in a restaurant and don't want to be surrounded by smoke: GET A DIFFERENT JOB. See how easy that is.
Maybe we need a disclaimer on that door that shows what happens in the building, like a consumer information panel. I'd support this if it let the owners have the freedom to run their business as they see fit.
You know, I really want to go to that strip club, but I don't want to see nudity. You need to cover those girls up.
I just moved to the country but don't like the smell of manure. Let's change the zoning to force the farmer out.
I want that home stereo system. I can't afford it. I will only pay you this much, and you have to accept it.
See how stupid that sounds?
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
First Class Carpet
Ok so I’m flying on my monthly trip and I am waiting to board my plane. I am in Group 1. So, I get up and stand near-ish to the roped off lanes.
They have a Priority/Platinum/First Class lane. This is a strip of carpet that is roped off from the other strip of carpet right next to it. This special strip is only for these special flyers.
The gate attendant lady checks them all in and then walks down the commoner strip of carpet and uses one of the nylon strap retractable turnbuckle thing to block off the special strip of carpet before calling the regular passengers.
Ok, I understand first class having better seats. I think if I were in First class, I would want to board last to avoid the riff raff that sits in the back, but that is another topic. A special section of carpet about two feet wide that parallels and is adjacent to another section of carpet?
People pay extra for this. What is the special reward here?
They have a Priority/Platinum/First Class lane. This is a strip of carpet that is roped off from the other strip of carpet right next to it. This special strip is only for these special flyers.
The gate attendant lady checks them all in and then walks down the commoner strip of carpet and uses one of the nylon strap retractable turnbuckle thing to block off the special strip of carpet before calling the regular passengers.
Ok, I understand first class having better seats. I think if I were in First class, I would want to board last to avoid the riff raff that sits in the back, but that is another topic. A special section of carpet about two feet wide that parallels and is adjacent to another section of carpet?
People pay extra for this. What is the special reward here?
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Let me transfer you
I really hate it when you call in to a company like your credit card, you have to go through the verbal equivalent of a biometric scan. Please enter you credit card number. What is your date of birth? What is your first car? What is your favorite episode of Seinfeld? Dial 1 for the episode with the funny HELLO voice, dial 2 for the one with the sausages… Who would win in a knife fight between Tony Orlando and Pete Rose?
When finally they are satisfied that you are you, you then get to explain the purpose of the call. Yeah I sent you money but you froze my account. You know the sad story that is this problem and how they can help you solve it. They then put you on hold and you get the same musak that you get at every other company (I think they are all the same company, but that is another discussion). Finally, when they come back on they say that this is not the right department, you need to talk to someone else.
So they transfer you. Please enter your credit card, what is your date of birth… The fact that you went through the body scan means nothing. And they weren’t told what you already went through. So you get to go through that again too.
I guess I can sympathize, they probably had to transfer me to Canada from Calcutta or something, but it really wears me out.
However, there ought to be prison terms for the people who are in the same office on the same floor who pull this. You call up and you get “Thank you for calling the Department of Redundancy Department. How may I help you.” “Yes, Hi, my name is Buckwheat Picard with the Federal Waste the Taxpayers Money Agency, and I was calling on behalf of …..” so after running through your situation they will tell you “you need to talk to Jenny in Accounting, please hold.”
Ok good making progress. But when Jenny comes on “Hi, this is Jenny, how may I help you?” “UM, yeah I just explained it all to that other lady. Did she tell you anything?” “No.”
I realize that laziness is your right as an American, but seriously, jail time.
When finally they are satisfied that you are you, you then get to explain the purpose of the call. Yeah I sent you money but you froze my account. You know the sad story that is this problem and how they can help you solve it. They then put you on hold and you get the same musak that you get at every other company (I think they are all the same company, but that is another discussion). Finally, when they come back on they say that this is not the right department, you need to talk to someone else.
So they transfer you. Please enter your credit card, what is your date of birth… The fact that you went through the body scan means nothing. And they weren’t told what you already went through. So you get to go through that again too.
I guess I can sympathize, they probably had to transfer me to Canada from Calcutta or something, but it really wears me out.
However, there ought to be prison terms for the people who are in the same office on the same floor who pull this. You call up and you get “Thank you for calling the Department of Redundancy Department. How may I help you.” “Yes, Hi, my name is Buckwheat Picard with the Federal Waste the Taxpayers Money Agency, and I was calling on behalf of …..” so after running through your situation they will tell you “you need to talk to Jenny in Accounting, please hold.”
Ok good making progress. But when Jenny comes on “Hi, this is Jenny, how may I help you?” “UM, yeah I just explained it all to that other lady. Did she tell you anything?” “No.”
I realize that laziness is your right as an American, but seriously, jail time.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
alarm clock
I travel for work, so I stay in a lot of hotels. There are many things to complain about with hotels, but the thing that really grates my cheese is this.
I have moved around this hotel to find the perfect floor, the perfect layout, the right side of the hall.
I thought I had found it. This floor is one where the elevators do not default. It is not too close to the smokers rooms. And, until yesterday had been empty, except for me.
Last night the considerate hotel staff put someone in the room next to mine. Ok there are like 120 rooms in this hotel on 8 floors, and like 13 people checked in right now. So you would think you could spread people out.
You know how when you have a new car, you park it far away from the rest of society and walk the extra 300 yards so as to avoid dents. Then when you come out you have a 1981 Ford POS parked too close to your driver side door, and a new dent with paint the same color as the POS? There might not be another car for 3 square miles.
The car must be a social species. But I am not. I try to avoid other people in the hotel like the plague, because they just might have it.
So I’m in the hotel last night listening to the dog barking in the room next to me. This morning about 5:30 the occupants starts yelling at someone. So, once my alarm went off, I leaned it up against the wall, with the speaker facing them. I just let it go. I didn’t bother turning it off.
It turns out those people were there for one night.
Man, if you are going to ruin my life, at least do something long term.
I have moved around this hotel to find the perfect floor, the perfect layout, the right side of the hall.
I thought I had found it. This floor is one where the elevators do not default. It is not too close to the smokers rooms. And, until yesterday had been empty, except for me.
Last night the considerate hotel staff put someone in the room next to mine. Ok there are like 120 rooms in this hotel on 8 floors, and like 13 people checked in right now. So you would think you could spread people out.
You know how when you have a new car, you park it far away from the rest of society and walk the extra 300 yards so as to avoid dents. Then when you come out you have a 1981 Ford POS parked too close to your driver side door, and a new dent with paint the same color as the POS? There might not be another car for 3 square miles.
The car must be a social species. But I am not. I try to avoid other people in the hotel like the plague, because they just might have it.
So I’m in the hotel last night listening to the dog barking in the room next to me. This morning about 5:30 the occupants starts yelling at someone. So, once my alarm went off, I leaned it up against the wall, with the speaker facing them. I just let it go. I didn’t bother turning it off.
It turns out those people were there for one night.
Man, if you are going to ruin my life, at least do something long term.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Topper
I really get tired of the Topper. You know the guy who has to have a story better than yours? If you stubbed your toe last night, he broke his off and reattached it with baling wire.
I’m all for people hearing a story and then telling one similar, but Topper can’t enjoy someone’s story. He has to beat you at everything he has ever done in his entire life.
I worked with a guy who was a Topper, but he had an additional twist. His stories all started the same way: “That’s nothin’. When I was in the military…” For example: “I had some spicy Thai food last night.” Topper would say, “That’s nothin’. When I was in the military I had Thai food in Thailand made with fire ants and napalm and cooked with fuel rods from a nuclear submarine.”
He was insufferable. It got so bad that we started to mock the guy, not just behind his back, but to his face. Every “That’s nothin’…” story was met with one of our own. He’d talk about some Filipina prostitute or something, and one of us would come back with “That’s nothin’. When I was in the military I had to melt hookers of the hull of the ship with a blow torch.”
He would then say, “I didn’t know you were in the military.”
The guy was pathetic. And he still owes me five bucks.
I’m all for people hearing a story and then telling one similar, but Topper can’t enjoy someone’s story. He has to beat you at everything he has ever done in his entire life.
I worked with a guy who was a Topper, but he had an additional twist. His stories all started the same way: “That’s nothin’. When I was in the military…” For example: “I had some spicy Thai food last night.” Topper would say, “That’s nothin’. When I was in the military I had Thai food in Thailand made with fire ants and napalm and cooked with fuel rods from a nuclear submarine.”
He was insufferable. It got so bad that we started to mock the guy, not just behind his back, but to his face. Every “That’s nothin’…” story was met with one of our own. He’d talk about some Filipina prostitute or something, and one of us would come back with “That’s nothin’. When I was in the military I had to melt hookers of the hull of the ship with a blow torch.”
He would then say, “I didn’t know you were in the military.”
The guy was pathetic. And he still owes me five bucks.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Earth Hour
What the hell is this? Make a change by turning your lights off for one hour? This makes as much sense as buying your gas on Tuesday or Thursday just so you say you didn’t buy it on Wednesday.
The organizers realize this is a symbolic event, and “The purpose of the event was not to save money or power.” It actually will use more power, because of all the promotion that went it to it and people going to events. What a steaming load this is.
People forget that if everyone did this we very well might cause blackouts. If we all turn our power on at the same time, our local grid will be overwhelmed. To prevent this they keep the generators turning so as to be ready for the massive drain of everyone coming online at once.
In 2008 Google turned their home page black to “Raise awareness” but people got confused and couldn’t remember how to Google, due to the unanticipated trauma of a different colored screen. I go through this every time yahoo changes their lay out, so I guess I can’t be too critical.
Of course, a black screen does nothing to cut energy use. Although that conflicts with what we were told, earlier this year: that two Google searches equals destruction of the ozone layer.
Of course, if Google uses a black screen, and people can’t figure out how to use it, maybe the ozone layer won’t be depleted by superfluous self-Googleing. (I’ve been Googling myself for years, but can stop whenever I want.)
This is about as effective as putting a green logo in your screen.
This is a symbolic act, and modern thinkers and the newly enlightened see no need for symbolism or ceremony. Right? I bet the same people who support earth hour are the same people who think marriage ceremonies or going to church are useless.
I will not be one of the useful idiots participating.
And, then there are the people who voluntarily live with out a refrigerator. Don’t get me started
The organizers realize this is a symbolic event, and “The purpose of the event was not to save money or power.” It actually will use more power, because of all the promotion that went it to it and people going to events. What a steaming load this is.
People forget that if everyone did this we very well might cause blackouts. If we all turn our power on at the same time, our local grid will be overwhelmed. To prevent this they keep the generators turning so as to be ready for the massive drain of everyone coming online at once.
In 2008 Google turned their home page black to “Raise awareness” but people got confused and couldn’t remember how to Google, due to the unanticipated trauma of a different colored screen. I go through this every time yahoo changes their lay out, so I guess I can’t be too critical.
Of course, a black screen does nothing to cut energy use. Although that conflicts with what we were told, earlier this year: that two Google searches equals destruction of the ozone layer.
Of course, if Google uses a black screen, and people can’t figure out how to use it, maybe the ozone layer won’t be depleted by superfluous self-Googleing. (I’ve been Googling myself for years, but can stop whenever I want.)
This is about as effective as putting a green logo in your screen.
This is a symbolic act, and modern thinkers and the newly enlightened see no need for symbolism or ceremony. Right? I bet the same people who support earth hour are the same people who think marriage ceremonies or going to church are useless.
I will not be one of the useful idiots participating.
And, then there are the people who voluntarily live with out a refrigerator. Don’t get me started
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Wikipedia: the source of all knowledge
I like Wikipedia. It is a great way to get a little information on stuff that comes to me while I am supposed to be working.
I know some of you will raise your hands and say “Ooh, ooh teacher, teacher!! Ooh, Ooh!! Wikipedia is inaccurate because anyone can post whatever they want.”
That is exactly what ticks me off. This is a type of site snobbery. “I am going to demonstrate my superior web prowess, by denigrating your obvious lack of intellectual curiosity, which causes you to resort to electronic laziness” You know what? I could not care less (If I hear another “could care less” I might stab someone in the throat.) what you think of my web surfing habits.
The other one is “I don’t use Wikipedia because it suffers from if you say it enough it becomes true.” Well, guess what? The winners write history. Same with facts. Deal with it.
The other form of site snobbery is the “I’ve been using Wikipedia since it had less than X articles.” Well, good for you. I personally don’t have the time or the desire to keep track of such important information. But, if you feel a boost in your fragile self-esteem by finding something on the WORLD WIDE web, hey, that’s great.
Of course, there are the others who will feel self important by pointing out that they don’t use that site anymore, because it is commercialized. Yeah, it’s all about the money now. It used to be about the music. You’ve sold out, man.
I usually just shrug and say “Ok”, that really seems to make them mad.
I know some of you will raise your hands and say “Ooh, ooh teacher, teacher!! Ooh, Ooh!! Wikipedia is inaccurate because anyone can post whatever they want.”
That is exactly what ticks me off. This is a type of site snobbery. “I am going to demonstrate my superior web prowess, by denigrating your obvious lack of intellectual curiosity, which causes you to resort to electronic laziness” You know what? I could not care less (If I hear another “could care less” I might stab someone in the throat.) what you think of my web surfing habits.
The other one is “I don’t use Wikipedia because it suffers from if you say it enough it becomes true.” Well, guess what? The winners write history. Same with facts. Deal with it.
The other form of site snobbery is the “I’ve been using Wikipedia since it had less than X articles.” Well, good for you. I personally don’t have the time or the desire to keep track of such important information. But, if you feel a boost in your fragile self-esteem by finding something on the WORLD WIDE web, hey, that’s great.
Of course, there are the others who will feel self important by pointing out that they don’t use that site anymore, because it is commercialized. Yeah, it’s all about the money now. It used to be about the music. You’ve sold out, man.
I usually just shrug and say “Ok”, that really seems to make them mad.
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