I have found a new hobby. I will start collecting words that sound like vulgarities, but really are not. For example: Kumquat: as in Pickle you, Kumquat! I actually had a website block a post I made using that phrase. This comes from a gum commercial.
Tube Sock: I originally heard this used as “put a tube sock in it.” But, I think it is more of a “Listen up tube sock.” kind of a thing.
Twitter and Google these sound to me like dirty activities.
Tenderfoot, Gooseneck, Danforth, Woodplank, Gimblet, Dogwatch, These words all sound dirty but I don’t really know why.
I have discovered that certain words when used as either prefixes or suffixes will always sound dirty.
For example:
Grit-, Toe-, Dutch-, Dill-, Love-, caster-,
Or
-wagon, -sack, -lick, -bag, -purge, -eye, -knob, -nugget, -apple, -knocker, -carnival, -wipe, -treat, -nozzle, -monkey, -glider, -spackle, -munch, -cheese.
Doesn’t Spraynozzle, Sandbag or Casterangle sound vile? How about Noseapple, Doorknocker, or Dutchtreat? Lovepump, Dillweed and Sugarglider?
It seems highly appropriate to me that since tomorrow is International Talk Like A Pirate Day, That I should point out fo how vulgar nautical terms can be:
Gunklode, Gunwale, Keelhaul, Kingspoke, Eyesplice, Baggywrinkles, Barepole, Beamreach, Boltrope, Yardarm, Anchorchoke, Backstaff, Bouyant, Pitchpole, Anchorchock, Bungmallet, Bilgepump and Futtock.
Enjoy the tardcarnival.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Good Luck, Mr. Gorski
A coworker is telling an funny story about Neil Armstrong and the famous quote about his neighbor. You’ve heard the Mr. Gorski reference right? If not look it up when you are at home. I hadn’t heard the entire story just the quote “Good luck, Mr. Gorski.” He, the co-worker, finished up by saying it is a true story.
We’ve all gotten e-mails with titles like “Yesterday in the Gulf of Mexico” where they show a tornado next to a lightning bolt next to an oil rig. Or, recently declassified WTC photos. Or, Nationwide gas boycott on Wednesday.
The people who pass these along or retell these stories want to share something with you that they appreciated hearing. They like me, I get it. But the problem is that much of what you hear or read, especially if it is online is embellished or outright fabricated.
The Gorski story is from an old Buddy Hackett routine.
The Tornado and lightning bolt photo is many years old and has been used on posters. All people do is Photoshop a current picture into the shot.
The WTC photos were all the same ones we’ve seen for 8 years now.
The gas boycott usually asks you to fill-up on a different day, which of course does nothing to reduce overall usage.
How do I know all this? Snopes.com. They are the debunkers of urban myths. Give them a try before hitting the forward e-mail button.
Now, if I can just get people to stop sending me the chain mails. “Send this to 10 people or you will be punched in the face. Ethel Jones of Wicakashaw, Minnesota didn’t and now she has her jaw wired shut.”
We’ve all gotten e-mails with titles like “Yesterday in the Gulf of Mexico” where they show a tornado next to a lightning bolt next to an oil rig. Or, recently declassified WTC photos. Or, Nationwide gas boycott on Wednesday.
The people who pass these along or retell these stories want to share something with you that they appreciated hearing. They like me, I get it. But the problem is that much of what you hear or read, especially if it is online is embellished or outright fabricated.
The Gorski story is from an old Buddy Hackett routine.
The Tornado and lightning bolt photo is many years old and has been used on posters. All people do is Photoshop a current picture into the shot.
The WTC photos were all the same ones we’ve seen for 8 years now.
The gas boycott usually asks you to fill-up on a different day, which of course does nothing to reduce overall usage.
How do I know all this? Snopes.com. They are the debunkers of urban myths. Give them a try before hitting the forward e-mail button.
Now, if I can just get people to stop sending me the chain mails. “Send this to 10 people or you will be punched in the face. Ethel Jones of Wicakashaw, Minnesota didn’t and now she has her jaw wired shut.”
Monday, September 14, 2009
The latest
1. I have two time cards I have to fill out for work. The first one is going away and so we were told we could just refer to the new one for the daily entries. The new one requires us to be detailed in our entries. The system has us break down the day into chunks of time and write up what we did in that chunk.
A couple of weeks ago we were again told that the old system will be going away, but that we now had to copy the exact entries in to the write-up sections as we put in the new system.
So the old system is going away but you now have to fill it out more completely than ever before, until it does. Asinine.
2. On September 11, 2001, the Dow Jones closed at 9605. It closed at 9605 on September 11, 2009 as well. Does it mean anything? No.
3. Why to wide receivers and runningbacks celebrate when they make touchdowns? Isn’t that their job? I think Vince Lombardi said “act like you've been there before.” One exception: If you are a 350 lb lineman and some how you score a touchdown, You celebrate all you wnat. If that is, you can catch your breath.
4. One of the most memorable images for me of the September 11th attacks was “The Falling Man.” This image apparently was quite controversial, and I didn’t discover it until one of the anniversaries. It for me really causes me to pause an reflect. Seemingly, it causes that same effect in others. On you tube there is a documentary about the attempt, for better or worse, of identifying the man in the photo. If you are interested you can find it here
5. I find it annoying that people will use an elevator to go up or down one floor. I find people who stand on moving sidewalks and escalators annoying as well.
6. I find it disrespectful to refer to significant dates in abbreviated form. For example: 6/6 or 12/7. I would rather they be referred to as the name of the event. D-Day or Pearl Harbor. That is a little more difficult with September 11th. The events of that day happened at multiple locations. This difficulty leads me to refer to them by the date. The significance of those events causes me to refer to them by as proper a name as I can.
7. The fire alarm goes off about twice a week here. It seems people are unfamiliar with how to cook with-out burning food. I suppose it might not be wise to deep fry a steak. When I moved in I had to use an entire bottle of Febreeze, to remove the burnt curry popcorn stench. So far today: 4 times in 3 hours.
8. that's all I got
A couple of weeks ago we were again told that the old system will be going away, but that we now had to copy the exact entries in to the write-up sections as we put in the new system.
So the old system is going away but you now have to fill it out more completely than ever before, until it does. Asinine.
2. On September 11, 2001, the Dow Jones closed at 9605. It closed at 9605 on September 11, 2009 as well. Does it mean anything? No.
3. Why to wide receivers and runningbacks celebrate when they make touchdowns? Isn’t that their job? I think Vince Lombardi said “act like you've been there before.” One exception: If you are a 350 lb lineman and some how you score a touchdown, You celebrate all you wnat. If that is, you can catch your breath.
4. One of the most memorable images for me of the September 11th attacks was “The Falling Man.” This image apparently was quite controversial, and I didn’t discover it until one of the anniversaries. It for me really causes me to pause an reflect. Seemingly, it causes that same effect in others. On you tube there is a documentary about the attempt, for better or worse, of identifying the man in the photo. If you are interested you can find it here
5. I find it annoying that people will use an elevator to go up or down one floor. I find people who stand on moving sidewalks and escalators annoying as well.
6. I find it disrespectful to refer to significant dates in abbreviated form. For example: 6/6 or 12/7. I would rather they be referred to as the name of the event. D-Day or Pearl Harbor. That is a little more difficult with September 11th. The events of that day happened at multiple locations. This difficulty leads me to refer to them by the date. The significance of those events causes me to refer to them by as proper a name as I can.
7. The fire alarm goes off about twice a week here. It seems people are unfamiliar with how to cook with-out burning food. I suppose it might not be wise to deep fry a steak. When I moved in I had to use an entire bottle of Febreeze, to remove the burnt curry popcorn stench. So far today: 4 times in 3 hours.
8. that's all I got
Friday, September 11, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Who does that?
I recently flew a public carrier again. Yes, they still have the special lane for the first class people. Wouldn't the people in first class rather be seated last, and avoid the rest of us riff raff? But, OK.
I met a new favorite person: Mr. I have no idea how this works. I kind of feel for the guy, but flying isn't that hard. If your boarding pass says "Group 3" and you can read it and say it out loud to the people around you, you should probably wait until group 3 is called and not stand in front of the ticket reading machine.
Of course this was not his only difficulty. He also had about 3 minutes worth of trouble with the overhead bin.
But he is not the only thing grinding my gears.
Who are the people who partially fill out the crossword and sudoku puzzles? and in pen? What? was it too tough? Was the flight too short? did you get bored?
I don't really think that people who do these want your help. These are not really team events.
And just so you know, the Sky Mall catalog is "Free. Take it and we will replace it." It says so right on the cover. So you don't need to tear out the pages you want. You condemn the rest of America to a month of not knowing what is on the fourth page of the Design Toscano ad, or the latest innovation from Hammacher Schlemmer. I mean one can only read the safety card so many times.
I met a new favorite person: Mr. I have no idea how this works. I kind of feel for the guy, but flying isn't that hard. If your boarding pass says "Group 3" and you can read it and say it out loud to the people around you, you should probably wait until group 3 is called and not stand in front of the ticket reading machine.
Of course this was not his only difficulty. He also had about 3 minutes worth of trouble with the overhead bin.
But he is not the only thing grinding my gears.
Who are the people who partially fill out the crossword and sudoku puzzles? and in pen? What? was it too tough? Was the flight too short? did you get bored?
I don't really think that people who do these want your help. These are not really team events.
And just so you know, the Sky Mall catalog is "Free. Take it and we will replace it." It says so right on the cover. So you don't need to tear out the pages you want. You condemn the rest of America to a month of not knowing what is on the fourth page of the Design Toscano ad, or the latest innovation from Hammacher Schlemmer. I mean one can only read the safety card so many times.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Fellow Travelers Alert
The Organizing for America people are staying in my hotel. I say it is mine because I’ve been here for eight months now.
I couldn’t really find any non-partisan information about them on the web, all I really know is that it is what became of the Elect Obama campaign.
The bus is taking up about seven parking spaces in the lot. Of course, it’s not like anyone else wants to use the lot. I mean it is not like “Lord of the Flies” around here trying to get a spot in the evening. I’ve seen Wal-Mart parking lots with less insanity. But, I digest.
I’m sure that they will show us how real grass-roots organizing works. You know the professionally painted bus, the professionally printed signs, the professionally silk-screened t-shirts the 13 million e-mail database. These guys aren’t like those artificial turf protestors who use word of mouth and sharpies to get out their message. Voof.
I couldn’t really find any non-partisan information about them on the web, all I really know is that it is what became of the Elect Obama campaign.
The bus is taking up about seven parking spaces in the lot. Of course, it’s not like anyone else wants to use the lot. I mean it is not like “Lord of the Flies” around here trying to get a spot in the evening. I’ve seen Wal-Mart parking lots with less insanity. But, I digest.
I’m sure that they will show us how real grass-roots organizing works. You know the professionally painted bus, the professionally printed signs, the professionally silk-screened t-shirts the 13 million e-mail database. These guys aren’t like those artificial turf protestors who use word of mouth and sharpies to get out their message. Voof.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Some too soon, others not soon enough
The current list of stuff making me nuts:
Toddlers and Tiaras: Some network, I think it is The Learning Channel, has this show about beauty pageants for very young girls. We are talking like 4 and 5 years old. I have not watched it so I may be off base here (but I doubt it and if the president doesn’t need to know the facts neither do I), but the people would put their kids in these things are sick. Seriously, living vicariously through your kids is sad but exposing them to this should be punishable by law. They dress these children up in gowns and make up and parade them in front of America. How long before one of these kids gets kidnapped and killed by some pedophile.
For the sake of these kids, this show must die. But TLC has proven with Jon and Kate that they have no interest in children’s well being.
Apparently, Reading Rainbow is officially dead. They stopped filming new episodes a couple of years ago, but now reruns won’t even run. This is sad to me. I haven’t watched the show in many years but it was nice knowing it was there.
Speaking of dead, Tedward Kennedy and St. Michael of Jackson are still. I really thought they might come back after a few days and carry out their first miracles. It seems that the media has canonized these two men as saints, and the world just needs to acknowledge what they have known all along. The problem is you are not allowed to discuss any of their faults, because apparently they didn’t have any. We do no one a service by focusing on only the good. The full measure of a man is his life in its entirety.
Kennedy couldn’t be buried soon enough for me. The wall-to-wall coverage on 12 stations really got old. And, really it is time to bury Jackson. I realize four autopsies take a while, but really, it is time. Only problem is that his basilica hasn’t been built and no one knows where the body is.
John Hughes is still dead too, and that sucks. He meant more to me than these other two. In the 1980’s he was king of the teen drama. He seems to be an adult that really understood kids and their problems. His movies helped millions get through those tough years. I realize that kids from the 70’s and earlier or now probably place no value in those films, but to be fair, the stuff they liked is complete garbage in my eyes. I’m not arrogant enough to believe that only the suff from my formative years is quality, but I do believe it reflects the times and movies made for different generations doesn’t always translate.
Toddlers and Tiaras: Some network, I think it is The Learning Channel, has this show about beauty pageants for very young girls. We are talking like 4 and 5 years old. I have not watched it so I may be off base here (but I doubt it and if the president doesn’t need to know the facts neither do I), but the people would put their kids in these things are sick. Seriously, living vicariously through your kids is sad but exposing them to this should be punishable by law. They dress these children up in gowns and make up and parade them in front of America. How long before one of these kids gets kidnapped and killed by some pedophile.
For the sake of these kids, this show must die. But TLC has proven with Jon and Kate that they have no interest in children’s well being.
Apparently, Reading Rainbow is officially dead. They stopped filming new episodes a couple of years ago, but now reruns won’t even run. This is sad to me. I haven’t watched the show in many years but it was nice knowing it was there.
Speaking of dead, Tedward Kennedy and St. Michael of Jackson are still. I really thought they might come back after a few days and carry out their first miracles. It seems that the media has canonized these two men as saints, and the world just needs to acknowledge what they have known all along. The problem is you are not allowed to discuss any of their faults, because apparently they didn’t have any. We do no one a service by focusing on only the good. The full measure of a man is his life in its entirety.
Kennedy couldn’t be buried soon enough for me. The wall-to-wall coverage on 12 stations really got old. And, really it is time to bury Jackson. I realize four autopsies take a while, but really, it is time. Only problem is that his basilica hasn’t been built and no one knows where the body is.
John Hughes is still dead too, and that sucks. He meant more to me than these other two. In the 1980’s he was king of the teen drama. He seems to be an adult that really understood kids and their problems. His movies helped millions get through those tough years. I realize that kids from the 70’s and earlier or now probably place no value in those films, but to be fair, the stuff they liked is complete garbage in my eyes. I’m not arrogant enough to believe that only the suff from my formative years is quality, but I do believe it reflects the times and movies made for different generations doesn’t always translate.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Addicts in the workplace
Over the past couple of days, I was in a training course. While the topic is unimportant, it is note worthy that the instructors were subject matter experts.
The annoying thing about it was the behavior of the female instructor. She started off by saying she hadn’t had her methadone yet and wasn’t functioning up to par. She asked if there was a dispensary anywhere near by.
She mentioned her addition over 20 times over the course of the two days. I found it to be highly unprofessional. She was unable to properly carry out her job without it.
The truth is that she was not a Heroin addict, thus necessitating the replacement. But, she was addicted to coffee. Probably more specifically: caffeine.
Am I the only person in America who thinks that our society’s celebration of coffee addiction is pathetic?
People will line up in the morning to buy the stuff on the way to work. They will bring large containers of it in with them. They will buy machines to brew it at home and a work. They will get angry when there is none available. They will force underlings to make it and demand that s/he keep it on hand for the superiors use. Tardiness is dismissed by blaming a long line of other addicts.
If this were alcohol or cocaine, no one would accept this behavior, without demanding that the person seek treatment. However, coffee is cool. Coffee is gourmet. You can brew special flavors or add special ingredients. Is this done with other drugs? Hazelnut crack?
I know that pot smokers and drinkers have fancy paraphernalia, but the coffee people have the same thing. There are fancy and special blends of alcohol, pot, coke, and designer drugs. Well there are designer coffees. But I find it very interesting that the most expensive coffee in the world is picked out of the excrement of some jungle animal.
No self-respecting alcoholic would drink “Monkey butt rum.”
I am against addictions of all kinds. I think coffee or at least caffeine should be limited to specific medicinal uses (it does wonders when added to painkillers). America needs to wake up and realize that if this were any other product, the unprofessional behaviors engaged in by its addicts, it would not be tolerated.
On the other hand, if we would just tax the snot out of it, we could pay down this national debt.
The annoying thing about it was the behavior of the female instructor. She started off by saying she hadn’t had her methadone yet and wasn’t functioning up to par. She asked if there was a dispensary anywhere near by.
She mentioned her addition over 20 times over the course of the two days. I found it to be highly unprofessional. She was unable to properly carry out her job without it.
The truth is that she was not a Heroin addict, thus necessitating the replacement. But, she was addicted to coffee. Probably more specifically: caffeine.
Am I the only person in America who thinks that our society’s celebration of coffee addiction is pathetic?
People will line up in the morning to buy the stuff on the way to work. They will bring large containers of it in with them. They will buy machines to brew it at home and a work. They will get angry when there is none available. They will force underlings to make it and demand that s/he keep it on hand for the superiors use. Tardiness is dismissed by blaming a long line of other addicts.
If this were alcohol or cocaine, no one would accept this behavior, without demanding that the person seek treatment. However, coffee is cool. Coffee is gourmet. You can brew special flavors or add special ingredients. Is this done with other drugs? Hazelnut crack?
I know that pot smokers and drinkers have fancy paraphernalia, but the coffee people have the same thing. There are fancy and special blends of alcohol, pot, coke, and designer drugs. Well there are designer coffees. But I find it very interesting that the most expensive coffee in the world is picked out of the excrement of some jungle animal.
No self-respecting alcoholic would drink “Monkey butt rum.”
I am against addictions of all kinds. I think coffee or at least caffeine should be limited to specific medicinal uses (it does wonders when added to painkillers). America needs to wake up and realize that if this were any other product, the unprofessional behaviors engaged in by its addicts, it would not be tolerated.
On the other hand, if we would just tax the snot out of it, we could pay down this national debt.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Dear Disney Corporation:
I am constantly amazed at your ability to create celebrities out of young children. Whether it is Hanna Montana, The Jonas Brothers, Raven or any other of the dozens of teen celebrities whose careers you have launched, it is truly something to behold.
On that note, I would like to inquire as to whether you actually buy the children or their souls. You see I have a young son, and I am quite interested in entering into a relationship with your company. I believe it would be beneficial to both of us if you were to lease him.
I realize that he will only be useful to you for a period of about 12 years, at which time, I am perfectly willing to take him back. I am reluctant to sell him to you outright, and I really have no interest in selling his soul.
He is young enough where you could mold him into the perfect money making machine, and I would like to ensure his financial future.
Please see the attached photo. I am sure you would agree, he is quite the good-looking child.
I eagerly await your reply and look forward to many profitable years of working together.
Sincerely,
On that note, I would like to inquire as to whether you actually buy the children or their souls. You see I have a young son, and I am quite interested in entering into a relationship with your company. I believe it would be beneficial to both of us if you were to lease him.
I realize that he will only be useful to you for a period of about 12 years, at which time, I am perfectly willing to take him back. I am reluctant to sell him to you outright, and I really have no interest in selling his soul.
He is young enough where you could mold him into the perfect money making machine, and I would like to ensure his financial future.
Please see the attached photo. I am sure you would agree, he is quite the good-looking child.
I eagerly await your reply and look forward to many profitable years of working together.
Sincerely,
Enough Already
This is a list of the stuff that is ticking me off at the moment:
Awkward Turtle: Are kids really doing this? Man, kids are dumb. Add this, "Talk to the hand" and the L on the forehead to gestures that will be banned when the revolution comes.
Flag@whitehouse.gov: Report fishy statements about health care? No. I say we "Rickroll" them.
Astroturf: This phrase is used to refer to fake grassroots movements. Get it? Yeah. It is only mildly clever on a good day. However, when 60+ year old politicians use it, it is just pathetic.
Teachable Moment: Ok so the President took the opportunity to drink some beer with a cop and an angry professor. OK,whatever. But the president first took the opportunity to lecture America about racism and stupidity. How about a “brilliant” politician take a moment to teach himself not to speak out when he admittedly does not have the facts?
Indiana: The whole state.
Face tattoos: If you decide to get one, either you work in a tattoo parlor, or you are condemning yourself to a career of night shit work on a street repair crew.
Commercials that use songs I like: I know songwriters have a right to sell the use of their music, but to advertise bathroom related products?
Housekeeping: Seriously, how hard is it to take out the garbage? And, five days in a row?
Hotel laundry rooms: The communal nature isn’t really a problem, except that there is someone running around with a University of North Texas t-shirt and some used white socks.
Reality dating shows: If your main character comes back for a second season, they aren’t looking for the love of their life.
Video Games are not a sport and have no business on ESPN.
Remakes: I know being creative is hard, but if you are going to remake a movie, you really need to do a good job. Sometimes that old black and white movie staring people who have been dead for 30 years and cost $30K to make, is better than the movie you spent 2 years of your life on.
Celebrities: Look, if you say something stupid, more that 150 Million people are going to intentionally avoid your next movie.
Bling: This word has been overused for years. Stop using it. If you use it and are over 40, you are at risk of getting stabbed in the neck, if I hear you .
Jon and Kate and the Octo-mom: No one cared before, and now? You are the kind of people that crowds encourage to jump off high buildings.
Awkward Turtle: Are kids really doing this? Man, kids are dumb. Add this, "Talk to the hand" and the L on the forehead to gestures that will be banned when the revolution comes.
Flag@whitehouse.gov: Report fishy statements about health care? No. I say we "Rickroll" them.
Astroturf: This phrase is used to refer to fake grassroots movements. Get it? Yeah. It is only mildly clever on a good day. However, when 60+ year old politicians use it, it is just pathetic.
Teachable Moment: Ok so the President took the opportunity to drink some beer with a cop and an angry professor. OK,whatever. But the president first took the opportunity to lecture America about racism and stupidity. How about a “brilliant” politician take a moment to teach himself not to speak out when he admittedly does not have the facts?
Indiana: The whole state.
Face tattoos: If you decide to get one, either you work in a tattoo parlor, or you are condemning yourself to a career of night shit work on a street repair crew.
Commercials that use songs I like: I know songwriters have a right to sell the use of their music, but to advertise bathroom related products?
Housekeeping: Seriously, how hard is it to take out the garbage? And, five days in a row?
Hotel laundry rooms: The communal nature isn’t really a problem, except that there is someone running around with a University of North Texas t-shirt and some used white socks.
Reality dating shows: If your main character comes back for a second season, they aren’t looking for the love of their life.
Video Games are not a sport and have no business on ESPN.
Remakes: I know being creative is hard, but if you are going to remake a movie, you really need to do a good job. Sometimes that old black and white movie staring people who have been dead for 30 years and cost $30K to make, is better than the movie you spent 2 years of your life on.
Celebrities: Look, if you say something stupid, more that 150 Million people are going to intentionally avoid your next movie.
Bling: This word has been overused for years. Stop using it. If you use it and are over 40, you are at risk of getting stabbed in the neck, if I hear you .
Jon and Kate and the Octo-mom: No one cared before, and now? You are the kind of people that crowds encourage to jump off high buildings.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Are you a Superhero too?
I am becoming a superhero. You see I have developed the power of invisibility.
Let me clarify. It is not a fully developed power just yet. It seems that among certain people I cannot be seen. They don’t acknowledge when I say hello. There is no thank-you for holding open a door. People in elevators don’t see me approaching, and let the doors close before I get there.
Apparently, I also have a bit of a “Midas Touch” as well. It seems the things I use appear not to have an owner and are therefore available for others to commandeer.
In the office recently a group of people was moved to another part of the building. In the process of their moving, they gathered up everything they would need. Of course this included, file folders, pens, highlighters, three-hole punches, staplers and paperclips. They even took keyboards, power cords, computer mice and trashcans. The only thing they left at my desk was used staples and dust bunnies.
The use of two mice makes sense since I’m sure all these paper pushers will actually use each mouse as a controller for a separate robotic arm that will perform life saving surgery or perform delicate work in a nuclear reactor or something. Now why a person needs two keyboards, is beyond me.
The most amazing thing is that a few days later these same folks brought down box loads of office supplies. They brought clipboards, drawer organizers, pens and printer paper in such quantities, that they put some in the hallways with a sign that read “free.” It appears that other people are developing powers s well. This was a modern-day office space miracle!! It is like the fishes and the loaves. They took a few office supplies that someone was using, and came back with enough for the entire building. And here I was about to complain.
But they never did bring back my stapler, so I’m going to have to burn down the building.
Let me clarify. It is not a fully developed power just yet. It seems that among certain people I cannot be seen. They don’t acknowledge when I say hello. There is no thank-you for holding open a door. People in elevators don’t see me approaching, and let the doors close before I get there.
Apparently, I also have a bit of a “Midas Touch” as well. It seems the things I use appear not to have an owner and are therefore available for others to commandeer.
In the office recently a group of people was moved to another part of the building. In the process of their moving, they gathered up everything they would need. Of course this included, file folders, pens, highlighters, three-hole punches, staplers and paperclips. They even took keyboards, power cords, computer mice and trashcans. The only thing they left at my desk was used staples and dust bunnies.
The use of two mice makes sense since I’m sure all these paper pushers will actually use each mouse as a controller for a separate robotic arm that will perform life saving surgery or perform delicate work in a nuclear reactor or something. Now why a person needs two keyboards, is beyond me.
The most amazing thing is that a few days later these same folks brought down box loads of office supplies. They brought clipboards, drawer organizers, pens and printer paper in such quantities, that they put some in the hallways with a sign that read “free.” It appears that other people are developing powers s well. This was a modern-day office space miracle!! It is like the fishes and the loaves. They took a few office supplies that someone was using, and came back with enough for the entire building. And here I was about to complain.
But they never did bring back my stapler, so I’m going to have to burn down the building.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Rats=Lentils
I’m watching a program about exterminators on the Discovery Channel. This program is about people who need an exterminator to do away with pests or vermin that have invaded their homes. Now, not every one on the program is a disgusting slob, but the severity of the problem is usually directly related to the lack of the occupants' hygiene.
One group of homeowners has a SEVERE rat infestation. The real problem is that these three women are vegans.
Vegans as you know hold themselves to a strict code of using little to no animal products. They call an exterminator because of the rat problem. Apparently, the infestation is so bad that the exterminator recommends putting out traps and killing the rats in a process that will take about a week. But, these ladies have a “moral” objection to killing these rats. The 100% natural method of rat removal is estimated to take a year.
Waiting a year, while in line with their morals, is just too long to wait. So what is a principled vegan to do?
They propose a trade to the terminator man. If he will live as a vegan, they will let him have his way with the rats. OK, how is the exterminator responsible for the rat problem? Why is it attractive to him to live as a vegan? He is not the one with the problem or the one who wants the problem removed. They are acting like he wants to just come in and kill animals, and so to allow him to do so they are going to put some stipulations on him.
THEY CALLED HIM!!!.
Ok next problem: If killing rats is evil, how does his temporary vegan diet offset their guilt? They are ones who don’t want to wait patiently for the method that complies with their chosen lifestyle, to be effective.
Third problem: I thought it was intolerant and insensitive to force your lifestyle on others.
Fourth problem: Even though he didn’t want to, the Exterminator manager agreed to it, making his employee live this lifestyle. They did not seem to be desperate for work, and since they were on TV they had an alternate income source. Since when is it appropriate for an employer to make these demands of his employees? Why did he not agree to live the vegan life?
I posted earlier in my anti-smoking Nazi rant, that the customer has no right to demand certain behaviors of the business owner. If the businessman wants to he can meet the demands.
This whole thing has reduced me to a sputtering incoherent mess. This is unbelievable on so many levels.
One group of homeowners has a SEVERE rat infestation. The real problem is that these three women are vegans.
Vegans as you know hold themselves to a strict code of using little to no animal products. They call an exterminator because of the rat problem. Apparently, the infestation is so bad that the exterminator recommends putting out traps and killing the rats in a process that will take about a week. But, these ladies have a “moral” objection to killing these rats. The 100% natural method of rat removal is estimated to take a year.
Waiting a year, while in line with their morals, is just too long to wait. So what is a principled vegan to do?
They propose a trade to the terminator man. If he will live as a vegan, they will let him have his way with the rats. OK, how is the exterminator responsible for the rat problem? Why is it attractive to him to live as a vegan? He is not the one with the problem or the one who wants the problem removed. They are acting like he wants to just come in and kill animals, and so to allow him to do so they are going to put some stipulations on him.
THEY CALLED HIM!!!.
Ok next problem: If killing rats is evil, how does his temporary vegan diet offset their guilt? They are ones who don’t want to wait patiently for the method that complies with their chosen lifestyle, to be effective.
Third problem: I thought it was intolerant and insensitive to force your lifestyle on others.
Fourth problem: Even though he didn’t want to, the Exterminator manager agreed to it, making his employee live this lifestyle. They did not seem to be desperate for work, and since they were on TV they had an alternate income source. Since when is it appropriate for an employer to make these demands of his employees? Why did he not agree to live the vegan life?
I posted earlier in my anti-smoking Nazi rant, that the customer has no right to demand certain behaviors of the business owner. If the businessman wants to he can meet the demands.
This whole thing has reduced me to a sputtering incoherent mess. This is unbelievable on so many levels.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Hey buddy, can you spare a dime?
I have been known to help people out. I have purchased a tank of gas for the guy who said he ran out and was stranded. I’ve purchased food for someone who said they needed some. However, one thing I do not do is give money to panhandlers.
Feel free to call me insensitive, but I just don’t believe it to be a good idea. That and, I usually don’t carry cash anyway.
Since I am so stingy what I write has no bearing on the situation, but you are the one who’s reading this and it didn’t cost you anything.
Rules for Panhandlers
1. Don’t dress nicer than I do. If you have alligator shoes and pressed slacks, I don’t believe you need my help.
2. Don’t shake your money container at me. There may be some people who will instantly pull out their cash at the melodic sound of change in a cup, but I expect more of a show.
A. Don’t look like you are dying of boredom. Display a little drive or ambition. If you play an instrument that is a great way to impress people.
3. Don’t approach me with “Hey man, I just got out of jail.” I already suspect you will not use the money that was formerly mine for food, don’t give me any other reason to doubt your sincerity. (Of course since he is a criminal I should be happy he didn’t shoot me.)
4. If you are in your 30s don’t hold up a “Viet Nam Vet” sign. At least update it to Iraq or Afghanistan or something. If you claim Bosnia or Somalia, I might give you something for creativity.
5. Don’t ask the women passing by for their phone number. It doesn’t work for construction guys and they are employed.
A public service announcement brought to you by this blog.
Feel free to call me insensitive, but I just don’t believe it to be a good idea. That and, I usually don’t carry cash anyway.
Since I am so stingy what I write has no bearing on the situation, but you are the one who’s reading this and it didn’t cost you anything.
Rules for Panhandlers
1. Don’t dress nicer than I do. If you have alligator shoes and pressed slacks, I don’t believe you need my help.
2. Don’t shake your money container at me. There may be some people who will instantly pull out their cash at the melodic sound of change in a cup, but I expect more of a show.
A. Don’t look like you are dying of boredom. Display a little drive or ambition. If you play an instrument that is a great way to impress people.
3. Don’t approach me with “Hey man, I just got out of jail.” I already suspect you will not use the money that was formerly mine for food, don’t give me any other reason to doubt your sincerity. (Of course since he is a criminal I should be happy he didn’t shoot me.)
4. If you are in your 30s don’t hold up a “Viet Nam Vet” sign. At least update it to Iraq or Afghanistan or something. If you claim Bosnia or Somalia, I might give you something for creativity.
5. Don’t ask the women passing by for their phone number. It doesn’t work for construction guys and they are employed.
A public service announcement brought to you by this blog.
Monday, July 20, 2009
I was Bombthrower
Last week I posed as “Bombthrower” on several threads at bighollywood. I was inspired by John T. Simpson's post (http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/jtsimpson/2009/07/15/my-secret-life-as-a-conservative-republican/). Before I get too far into this I need to apologize to Burt Prelutsky (http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/bprelutsky/2009/07/16/indicting-the-usual-suspects/) and Gary Graham (http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/ggraham/2009/07/16/obama-wants-to-buck-us-up/) for hijacking their threads. But, I knew they could handle it based on the hateful comments they get on a regular basis.
I was one of a minority who thought Mr. Simpsons over the top comments were a good way to disarm the lunacy of those who would try to paint all conservatives with the same brush. I took the stereotypes that we all hear and used comments similar to them to see what would happen. (I like to take the stance of ‘if the shoe don’t fit, don’t try to wear it’ Why defend against something that isn’t true?)
Some people got upset. Some people laughed. My intention was to show how stupid it would be for someone to actually try and point the stereotype finger at us. The accuser (me) came across as an idiot. It got to the point that I couldn’t even pretend anymore and just started having fun.
I have learned a few things:
1. Bombthrowing is fun. Sorry but it really was.
2. Only a true believer could continue with certain lines of reasoning
3. For a site dedicated to Hollywood and pop-culture (industries that would die without free speech), we have a lot of people here who don’t seem to appreciate free speech. (I heard a saying once: “You can’t offend me, because I choose not to be offended.” Take that as you use fit.)
a. As such my personal computer is blocked from posting comments, even if I am logged in as my normal user name. This appears to be what hitting the “report” button does; I have no idea if it is permanent. (If anyone at BH or intense debate could un-block me I would be grateful. I have learned my lesson and won’t do it again.)
4. I learned that some people will never change their minds about anything. I feel for those who post here and thoughtfully express their counter opinion. You may not get me to come around, but you have my respect. It is difficult to do even without people jumping down your throat.
5. Some of the people who post here are very skilled thinkers and writers. I thought I did a fair job of it, I realize that I have to step up my ability to explain my positions.
I appreciate the hosts and editors letting me use the site as a laboratory. I acknowledge it was self indulgent. I wonder how many of our so called “trolls” are serious about not liking us, or are just have some fun at our expense. I’d bet many are just trying to see what will happen.
I was one of a minority who thought Mr. Simpsons over the top comments were a good way to disarm the lunacy of those who would try to paint all conservatives with the same brush. I took the stereotypes that we all hear and used comments similar to them to see what would happen. (I like to take the stance of ‘if the shoe don’t fit, don’t try to wear it’ Why defend against something that isn’t true?)
Some people got upset. Some people laughed. My intention was to show how stupid it would be for someone to actually try and point the stereotype finger at us. The accuser (me) came across as an idiot. It got to the point that I couldn’t even pretend anymore and just started having fun.
I have learned a few things:
1. Bombthrowing is fun. Sorry but it really was.
2. Only a true believer could continue with certain lines of reasoning
3. For a site dedicated to Hollywood and pop-culture (industries that would die without free speech), we have a lot of people here who don’t seem to appreciate free speech. (I heard a saying once: “You can’t offend me, because I choose not to be offended.” Take that as you use fit.)
a. As such my personal computer is blocked from posting comments, even if I am logged in as my normal user name. This appears to be what hitting the “report” button does; I have no idea if it is permanent. (If anyone at BH or intense debate could un-block me I would be grateful. I have learned my lesson and won’t do it again.)
4. I learned that some people will never change their minds about anything. I feel for those who post here and thoughtfully express their counter opinion. You may not get me to come around, but you have my respect. It is difficult to do even without people jumping down your throat.
5. Some of the people who post here are very skilled thinkers and writers. I thought I did a fair job of it, I realize that I have to step up my ability to explain my positions.
I appreciate the hosts and editors letting me use the site as a laboratory. I acknowledge it was self indulgent. I wonder how many of our so called “trolls” are serious about not liking us, or are just have some fun at our expense. I’d bet many are just trying to see what will happen.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
I'm glad you're dead
I have just learned about the potential demise of the Crocs brand of “shoes.” Ok it is not dead yet, but it is apparently on it’s last legs.
While I normally don’t celebrate the failure of a company. In this case, I will make an exception.
These are the ugliest footwear ever devised. Many people tout them. “Oh, they are so comfortable.” Lots of things are comfortable, but you don’t have to wear them in public. “They are made of antimicrobial foam.” And, It is a good thing because they make your feet sweat.
I am surprised by the number of women who bought these abominations. In many cases these were women who are “Shoe People.”
These shoes only ever looked good on small children, not adults. I once worked with a woman who had a pair that matched every outfit she owned. They didn’t just coordinate, they matched. I’d bet she bought the cloths to go with the shoes.
Now, I do feel for the doctors and nurses that found them comfortable, but I have heard that the wooden shoes from Holland do the trick as well.
So, I say good bye, Crocs. I celebrate your passing with a New Orleans style jazz funeral.
Now, if we could just do something about Uggs.
While I normally don’t celebrate the failure of a company. In this case, I will make an exception.
These are the ugliest footwear ever devised. Many people tout them. “Oh, they are so comfortable.” Lots of things are comfortable, but you don’t have to wear them in public. “They are made of antimicrobial foam.” And, It is a good thing because they make your feet sweat.
I am surprised by the number of women who bought these abominations. In many cases these were women who are “Shoe People.”
These shoes only ever looked good on small children, not adults. I once worked with a woman who had a pair that matched every outfit she owned. They didn’t just coordinate, they matched. I’d bet she bought the cloths to go with the shoes.
Now, I do feel for the doctors and nurses that found them comfortable, but I have heard that the wooden shoes from Holland do the trick as well.
So, I say good bye, Crocs. I celebrate your passing with a New Orleans style jazz funeral.
Now, if we could just do something about Uggs.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Ingrate
I was watching one of the home improvement channels and a first time homebuyer program came on about a college student looking for a condominium.
She is a full time college student and from the way things were presented, it seemed she was unemployed.
She was looking for this condo in the Bay Area of California, one of if not the most expensive area of the country.
She was looking in a very specific part of town.
She said, and this is what really grated my cheese, that her parents had managed to save “a little bit of money” to help her buy this condo. This “little bit of money” was $500,000.
For some reason this really got to me. Probably because when I was in school, my wife and I both worked full time jobs and had a mortgage to pay, (our little house cost us well below $90,000) and we struggled every step of the way.
I’m not jealous of people who have wealth or who are fortunate not to have to work, we all have different cards to play. But, to refer to $500,000 as “a little bit of money” is a slap in the face of those of us who have to work for everything we have.
I’ll tell you one thing, if my parents left me half a million bucks, you’d never see me belittle it. You’d probably never see me at all, in fact.
She is a full time college student and from the way things were presented, it seemed she was unemployed.
She was looking for this condo in the Bay Area of California, one of if not the most expensive area of the country.
She was looking in a very specific part of town.
She said, and this is what really grated my cheese, that her parents had managed to save “a little bit of money” to help her buy this condo. This “little bit of money” was $500,000.
For some reason this really got to me. Probably because when I was in school, my wife and I both worked full time jobs and had a mortgage to pay, (our little house cost us well below $90,000) and we struggled every step of the way.
I’m not jealous of people who have wealth or who are fortunate not to have to work, we all have different cards to play. But, to refer to $500,000 as “a little bit of money” is a slap in the face of those of us who have to work for everything we have.
I’ll tell you one thing, if my parents left me half a million bucks, you’d never see me belittle it. You’d probably never see me at all, in fact.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
My bumper can beat up your bumper
Over the past weekend, I had the pleasure of driving halfway across the country and back. I’m sure I am responsible for some polar bears drowning or something, but I really don’t feel too bad about it.
I took the opportunity to observe the scenery both manmade and natural. One thing I noticed is that people don’t update things too much. I saw a Ron Paul for President billboard somewhere on the interstate. I don’t know when Representative Paul officially dropped out of the race, but it has to be approaching a year or so. I know billboards are expensive, and in this economy, I cannot believe anyone is still paying for the thing.
I saw several yard signs for candidates, as well as bumper stickers. Look, it has been eight months since the last election, isn’t it time to put away the stuff?
All of you who have a Gore/Lieberman sticker or yard sign can take them down. We get it, you don’t like Bush. But he’s gone now. You can start paying attention to current events.
I do not really like bumper stickers. Most of them are too small to get the point across or too long to be read at 70 miles per hour. I realize it is a freedom of speech thing, but I’d just as soon see none of them. It is like a visual pollution.
Of course, it does help us to be able to judge you and your cause by your driving ability. I swear I am never donating to certain causes, because I do not want to be associated with people who have such poor driving skills.
Some scientist could probably come up with some sort of a Laffer curve showing how the number of bumper stickers you have on your car is directly proportional to the size of jerk you are.
I do have a few bumper stickers that I find humorous. However, there are really only two I would ever use (one because it is scathing and two because it is funny to see a really old sticker on a new car):
1. “I’m so Green I’m Soylent”
2. AuH2O
I took the opportunity to observe the scenery both manmade and natural. One thing I noticed is that people don’t update things too much. I saw a Ron Paul for President billboard somewhere on the interstate. I don’t know when Representative Paul officially dropped out of the race, but it has to be approaching a year or so. I know billboards are expensive, and in this economy, I cannot believe anyone is still paying for the thing.
I saw several yard signs for candidates, as well as bumper stickers. Look, it has been eight months since the last election, isn’t it time to put away the stuff?
All of you who have a Gore/Lieberman sticker or yard sign can take them down. We get it, you don’t like Bush. But he’s gone now. You can start paying attention to current events.
I do not really like bumper stickers. Most of them are too small to get the point across or too long to be read at 70 miles per hour. I realize it is a freedom of speech thing, but I’d just as soon see none of them. It is like a visual pollution.
Of course, it does help us to be able to judge you and your cause by your driving ability. I swear I am never donating to certain causes, because I do not want to be associated with people who have such poor driving skills.
Some scientist could probably come up with some sort of a Laffer curve showing how the number of bumper stickers you have on your car is directly proportional to the size of jerk you are.
I do have a few bumper stickers that I find humorous. However, there are really only two I would ever use (one because it is scathing and two because it is funny to see a really old sticker on a new car):
1. “I’m so Green I’m Soylent”
2. AuH2O
Sunday, June 28, 2009
It happens in 5s
The passing of Billy Mays does nothing to change my last post. In fact, it bolsters it.
Depending where you start and stop the counting, just about anything can be made to connect.
Depending where you start and stop the counting, just about anything can be made to connect.
Friday, June 26, 2009
It's true! Isn't it?
Every time someone famous dies the inevitable response is for people to look for two more. Despite evidence to the contrary the “Celebrities Die in Threes” myth goes on. In part, I believe because it is so easy to make it work. It all depends on where you start counting.
This week we had Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. But people were already saying it before Jackson, and linking in David Carradine.
What is the time restriction on the counting? Hendrix and Joplin were within three weeks, but Morrison was nine months later. Why not include Brian Jones (14 months earlier) and make it “They always die in fours”? Ooo, spooky.
So, I tried to limit my research to celebrities who died on the same day. That might be something. Here’s what I found:
July 4, 1826: John Adams and Thomas Jefferson
February 3, 1959: Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, The Big Bopper
November 23, 1963: CS Lewis, Aldous Huxley, JFK
May 16, 1990: Sammy Davis, Jr., Jim Henson
As you can see hitting the “three” threshold with out stretching the length of time to get there is tough.
Undoubtedly, these are notable people, but what is the definition of “Celebrity?” I think that if you want to make the rule of three stick, you can call just about anyone a celebrity. This is a case of making the facts fit the evidence.
Don’t believe me? Just look at the Wikipedia recent deaths list. Are these people celebrities? Sure, or else they wouldn’t be listed, but the “three” business is hard to support when you see how many people die everyday.
All that said, it’s been 26 years and I still can’t Moonwalk.
This week we had Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. But people were already saying it before Jackson, and linking in David Carradine.
What is the time restriction on the counting? Hendrix and Joplin were within three weeks, but Morrison was nine months later. Why not include Brian Jones (14 months earlier) and make it “They always die in fours”? Ooo, spooky.
So, I tried to limit my research to celebrities who died on the same day. That might be something. Here’s what I found:
July 4, 1826: John Adams and Thomas Jefferson
February 3, 1959: Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, The Big Bopper
November 23, 1963: CS Lewis, Aldous Huxley, JFK
May 16, 1990: Sammy Davis, Jr., Jim Henson
As you can see hitting the “three” threshold with out stretching the length of time to get there is tough.
Undoubtedly, these are notable people, but what is the definition of “Celebrity?” I think that if you want to make the rule of three stick, you can call just about anyone a celebrity. This is a case of making the facts fit the evidence.
Don’t believe me? Just look at the Wikipedia recent deaths list. Are these people celebrities? Sure, or else they wouldn’t be listed, but the “three” business is hard to support when you see how many people die everyday.
All that said, it’s been 26 years and I still can’t Moonwalk.
Monday, June 15, 2009
The Ugly American
Last week the city I’m staying in had a large convention for an international group of insurance agents or stock brokers or something. Apparently this event is annual and held in different cities around the world. Normally they have 10,000 attendees, but due to the economy only about 4,000 attended this year. This is a large event.
So, as you can imagine my hotel was full. I have been in this hotel for a while now and have outlasted several of the housekeeping staff. I have also become friendly with the staff and can get them to give me some “behind the curtain” type of information.
For example they tell me about why the fire alarm keeps going off. (It seems some one was deep-frying burgers in their room. Once a day for eight straight days.)
They tell me about the guest who they had to evict, or the lady who caused $3,000 worth of damage to her room.
They told me about one of the guests having to be arrested. I actually saw this event start. The hotel provides breakfast every morning. They also provide a “reception” on three evenings a week. The menu rotates such that every Tuesday is the same thing. Same with Wednesday and Thursday.
On Wednesday the hotel provides hotdogs and burgers. It seems this group, I will call them Gastonians (since they hail from a foreign nation I will call Gaston.), had an issue with the menu. It seems they were reluctant to eat burgers and hotdogs because they didn’t know what they were. Ok that I can understand. I’ve been in some places where I really wanted to know what I was going to eat. The problem arose when the lead Gastononian, after leaning what the burgers and hotdogs were made of flipped out. “You have no food for Gastonians?” The young Russian kitchen lady said “We have food for everyone.” “We have no food.” “Sir, there is food right here.” Etc.
The problem was not that there was no food; it was that the food provided was unacceptable. It took about 20 minutes to get it figured out that these were non beef eating Gastonians.
This group had about 20 rooms rented. As such they sent over a five page dissertation about how the hotel staff was to treat the visiting Gastonian contingent. You know standard stuff like: bowing your head when addressing the men, removing yourself from their path when they walk down the hall. You know standard visiting businessman stuff. But, it never addressed dietary restrictions. It seems logical to me that if a group sends a list of expectations, dietary regulations should be described. I mean they will know their own needs better than strangers on the other side of the world. I know the people at this hotel and they would have made the effort to provide different meal options had they been told ahead of time. They have provided veggie pizzas for me rather than the greasy meat stuff.
The lead Gastonian apparently did not accept the explanation from the hotel staff, and was rude and loud for a long time. He apparently decided to drown his anger in a bottle for about six hours, and then made his way downstairs to the front desk. Long story short, the man was arrested and an international incident may have started.
This brings me to the point of the post; we hear how terrible Americans are when we travel. We hear that we are rude and demanding and about how we don’t respect other cultures. Alright, I am willing to stipulate that some of us are boorish, I have never met anyone who has admitted to acting this way and most of us are so concerned to be labeled as such that we go out of our way to not act American (whatever that means), but ok.
Ask me sometime about the convulsions at the elevator or the lack of changes of clothing. Just don’t tell me anymore stories about the “Rude Americans” overseas. I hardly think we have a lock on pathetic behavior.
So, as you can imagine my hotel was full. I have been in this hotel for a while now and have outlasted several of the housekeeping staff. I have also become friendly with the staff and can get them to give me some “behind the curtain” type of information.
For example they tell me about why the fire alarm keeps going off. (It seems some one was deep-frying burgers in their room. Once a day for eight straight days.)
They tell me about the guest who they had to evict, or the lady who caused $3,000 worth of damage to her room.
They told me about one of the guests having to be arrested. I actually saw this event start. The hotel provides breakfast every morning. They also provide a “reception” on three evenings a week. The menu rotates such that every Tuesday is the same thing. Same with Wednesday and Thursday.
On Wednesday the hotel provides hotdogs and burgers. It seems this group, I will call them Gastonians (since they hail from a foreign nation I will call Gaston.), had an issue with the menu. It seems they were reluctant to eat burgers and hotdogs because they didn’t know what they were. Ok that I can understand. I’ve been in some places where I really wanted to know what I was going to eat. The problem arose when the lead Gastononian, after leaning what the burgers and hotdogs were made of flipped out. “You have no food for Gastonians?” The young Russian kitchen lady said “We have food for everyone.” “We have no food.” “Sir, there is food right here.” Etc.
The problem was not that there was no food; it was that the food provided was unacceptable. It took about 20 minutes to get it figured out that these were non beef eating Gastonians.
This group had about 20 rooms rented. As such they sent over a five page dissertation about how the hotel staff was to treat the visiting Gastonian contingent. You know standard stuff like: bowing your head when addressing the men, removing yourself from their path when they walk down the hall. You know standard visiting businessman stuff. But, it never addressed dietary restrictions. It seems logical to me that if a group sends a list of expectations, dietary regulations should be described. I mean they will know their own needs better than strangers on the other side of the world. I know the people at this hotel and they would have made the effort to provide different meal options had they been told ahead of time. They have provided veggie pizzas for me rather than the greasy meat stuff.
The lead Gastonian apparently did not accept the explanation from the hotel staff, and was rude and loud for a long time. He apparently decided to drown his anger in a bottle for about six hours, and then made his way downstairs to the front desk. Long story short, the man was arrested and an international incident may have started.
This brings me to the point of the post; we hear how terrible Americans are when we travel. We hear that we are rude and demanding and about how we don’t respect other cultures. Alright, I am willing to stipulate that some of us are boorish, I have never met anyone who has admitted to acting this way and most of us are so concerned to be labeled as such that we go out of our way to not act American (whatever that means), but ok.
Ask me sometime about the convulsions at the elevator or the lack of changes of clothing. Just don’t tell me anymore stories about the “Rude Americans” overseas. I hardly think we have a lock on pathetic behavior.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)